I have been struggling with balance in parenting. Wanting to use the Word of God as our guide, road map, and standard but not wanting to discourage or hammer the kids with constant references as proof when they are doing something wrong. I sat down to type an email to a good friend of mine tonight and was expressing my frustration and something popped in my mind. I need to make sure I encourage them and reassure them with Scripture as much if not more than I correct them with it. Why does it not occur to me to bless more than I correct? Encouraging them and catching them doing something right is as important as consistently correcting a wrong.
I read an awesome piece on motherhood by a person named Jamie C Martin. I remember her talking about the importance of focusing on (in our thoughts especially) what our child did right that day, even if it was only one thing all day (and it NEVER is just one thing, we just tend to overlook it or *cringe* take it for granted?!).
I thought about that and realized one thing that I really, really love about my husband is the grace he consistently extends to me. He does not ignore when I mess up, he acknowledges it and gives some ideas for better choices next time, he has prayed over me, he has helped me come up with ideas that would work to help etc; but he does not focus on what I did wrong. He then will point out or encourage me with what I did right.
I on the other hand tend to focus on the wrong thing, even if it was literally one wrong thing all day. This has been and continues to be a struggle with me.
I am working on a post about words and studying about what the Bible says about the words we have to speak. In light of that post and this one, I want to try an experiment. I want to write down things throughout the day that I catch my children doing right (even if I mention it to them at the time). Things that warm my heart, bring a smile to my face, things that delight me about them. Before bed I want to sit down one on one with each of them and read my list to them. I bet at the end of the thirty days I will be astounded at what I see.