The evening of December 14th my husband arrived home from a business trip. Sick. Miserably sick. What unfolded from there was the worst cold/stomach bug/flu - whatever it was it was H.O.R.R.I.B.L.E. It moved through all five of us. Even our dog got sick and threw up. It was terrible. We did not really get out of bed for more than a few minutes at a time until the afternoon of December 25th. We all had flu shots in early November, so I am not sure if this was the flu or not, but whatever it was I do NOT ever want to do that again.
This past year has been weird, we never really found our rhythm. It has been full of doctor appointments, packing, moving, and unpacking, sicknesses, long hard days...there have been bright spots nestled in there, but over all if I had to use one word to sum up 2012 I would say chaos. Knowing that, having lived it, makes me desperate to find a workable routine, a calmness that is missing right now.
Lately my heart has missed dancing. More deeply than ever before. When I was shaken up, when I had no words to pray, when I didn't even know what to ask for or work towards I would pour my heart and soul into ballet. My body would speak when words failed me. When something has been such a large part of you for more of your life than not, you can feel unhinged when that chapter closes. The lines, the movement, the music - all of it together is just such a beautiful art form. So this week I pulled on my socks and stood in our kitchen and did tendus and plies. For just a moment all felt right and settled and complete. I realized in that moment that I needed to give myself class everyday. I will probably never step on a stage again, may never pad my toes and squeeze them into a pair of pointe shoes, but I am not done dancing. For as long as my body will sink into a plie, stretch forward into a port de bras...then there is no reason not to.
Before we got sick, my children and I left off right in the middle of "Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh". I am going to go gather them together on the couch and snuggle them close while we read a few more chapters. I have a yummy coffee from our local barista: cinnamon hazelnut with plenty of cream, a smidgen of sugar, and a liberal sprinkling of cinnamon. The perfect cuppa for reading aloud. Except mine is coffee not tea :).
I hope you all have a lovely day.