Five Minute Friday
My whole life I have wanted to belong.
Bigger than myself.
It seems like I was always the square peg trying to squeeze into the round hole. Everyone else saw it, I knew it, and it pretty much sucked.
Then, as I grew up, something amazing happened.
God, all along, hadn't been calling me to be round and circular. He had made me with four sides for a purpose. He had a plan.
He fashions us a certain way and I believe sometimes allows us to flounder a bit before we turn back to Him so that we can take a deep breath and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we belong to Him and Him alone. Since He made me He knows me more intimately than I know myself and He loves me, all of me. And He is teaching me what belonging to Him means.
Two my husband.
My husband gets me. Like really, really gets me. And the awesome part? He loves me anyway. I say that aloud several times a day. He. Loves. Me. Anyway. Despite any imperfection, any weakness, & any and all dorky qualities I possess, he loves me anyway!
We each belong in the race laid out before us. I am learning as I go. This is hard because I always want to compare and contrast my life with someone else's to see how I am doing. But "someone else" wasn't created to be a measuring stick for me.
One summer not too long ago, it seems like just yesterday, but in reality about twenty years ago, I was taking a class at Joffrey Ballet. It was awesome. And terrifying. I felt inadequate and ill equipped to be there...and the truth? I was. But one teacher kept saying over and over and over again, "kids put your blinders on". Because that room was FULL of the best of the best. Most of the ballerinas that left that program walked into a job of their choice. So to sit and compare yourself with someone else was futile and demeaning and defeating. I wish I had known then what I know now. I would have pulled myself off the side and said, "You know in twenty years you are going to have three beautiful kids, a husband, AND a dog. Plus you will get to drink coffee every.single.morning. And you will have a better grasp on the Word of God. This, this is temporary. Give it everything you have, it is a beautiful, but fleeting gift. It is not given to prove your worth, it is given as pure grace." I can't go back, but I can go forward. The gifts and abilities we have each been given are not given to prove our worth. They are simply pure grace.
*Edited to add :
I am SO frustrated :). I have written this post in two portions because I kept losing internet :) and then I have tried twice to post it on Lisa-Jo's blog, but it messes up every single time I get to selecting the thumbnail image. SO I am not sure if it posted on Lisa-Jo's blog or not, but I did try.