Tuesday, October 31, 2017

30 Days of Gratitude and NaNoWriMo

Have you signed up for this challenge (30 Days of Gratitude) from Revive Our Hearts?  I don't know about you, but boy do I need this.

Sensory Processing is a very common sign of Autism (but doesn't always mean the person experiencing it is on the spectrum).  I wish someone had told me that, I would have had my child tested so much sooner, I would have intervened and done something more for them than just try to limp along.  Sensory Processing is a real thing, but I know many people (including pediatricians and doctors and therapists) remain skeptical of it.  I had one of our pediatrician's roll his eyes and laugh at me when my child was four and I was discussing a list of sensory issues with him.  He handed over a parenting book, one of James Dobson's and told me to buck up and become a better mom. 

One who didn't let my kids' tears and meltdowns affect me so much.  He witnessed the meltdown himself and just shook his head and told me to suck it up and ignore it. 

A few years ago I read a description of what it is like and all of a sudden I understood my child in a whole new way - (I cannot remember where I read this, but the description is so accurate and so true).  A child was describing what a type of fabric felt like to their mom, they said it was like taking tiny glass particles and having it scrape repeatedly over them. 

The tears rolled down my cheeks in big fat succession.  The guilt weighed heavily on my heart.  Looking back over the years (as my child was now entering adolescence)  I understood.  I should have pursued this more, I should have kept asking until someone listened.  No wonder the meltdowns!  No wonder the fidgeting and lack of concentration.  No wonder the complaining and not wanting to buy new clothes or socks or pants.

I read this post this morning and WOW, I love all of the resources she has compiled into this post.  It is always so good to have something fresh to try.

Did you know that tomorrow kicks off NaNoWriMo?  National Novel Writing Month!  I am going to do it this year, it will no doubt be terrible and I might fall flat on my face and I will more than likely be the only one who ever reads it, but writing is a sort of therapy for me.  A way for me to channel my feelings (the good, the bad, and the ugly).  It is a way for me to experience life, in a deeper, more meaningful way.  I can't wait!

Friday, October 20, 2017

Meet me here...even in this

I read a post on praying recently (it was in an email and I believe it was quoting John Eldridge) and it has not been far from my thoughts since then.

This person was frequently forgetting to pray for others so they decided to just stop whatever they were doing, in that very moment, and pray.  Their prayer started off with 'Jesus, come into this...'  I don't remember much else but that line has lodged in my mind.  How often I forget to simply ask Jesus into whatever is going on at the moment.

Fear of the unknown?  Worried about what tomorrow will bring?  Jesus, come into the middle of this moment.  Dispel this fear, shine the light of Your truth and allow me to see clearly.  Meet me here, even in this.

Hard day?  Chronic health issues - mental, emotional, and/or physical...Jesus meet us right here, in the middle of this mess.  Allow us to sense Your presence.  Flood our spirits with Your Holy Spirit.  Please surround _________________ with Your feathers, tuck ______________ under Your wings.

Conflict with someone you care about?  A conflict between two people you love?  Jesus, come dwell in the midst of this.  Meet me here, even in this moment.

Best day ever?  Butterflies landing on your child's hands, getting to see your husband again after a week or so apart?  Warm cups of hot chocolate and lazy fall afternoons reading?  Jesus, meet us here in the middle of this beautiful day so that I can bask in Your goodness.  Come into these moments of joy so that they may be complete.

Jesus, come. 

Come into this, teach us to live our deepest emotions. 

Joy, grief, sadness, pain, fear, anxiety, anger, elation, excitement...

Meet me here.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

I want to say something.
Something that succinctly ties in scripture with the onslaught of devastation that has completely covered the news headlines recently.

But I worry that a lot of times that comes across as trite. 

So I don't know what to say.

I talked to my kids today about the Las Vegas tragedy.  I never know how much current events to expose them to.  They need to know what is going on, they need to learn how to pray and that the world is bigger than just our own pains and chronic issues.  But it is hard to explain how someone could take a gun and shoot into a crowd of people.  It is hard to explain that level of evil - that level of hate - that level of carnage. 

It is hard to wrap my mind or heart around that level of hurt.

My kids and I just finished the Door in the Wall and Inside Out and Back Again. 

Both excellent books. 

I am reading a book called Deep Waters by Denise Hughes.  SUCH a great book.

We just got home from a long walk that involved seeing lots of beautiful flowers, huge butterflies, ducks, geese, waterfalls, art statues, people busy moving about their day, and the eating of chocolate chip cookies. 

I love long walks.

I love the chatter of my kids as they take in the world around them.  I love the feeling of stress melting away the more steps that we take.  I love the beauty of the sky, the blue with the tuft of clouds strung out across it. 

It is hard to reconcile one with the other.  The fact that so much pain and so much beauty can coexist in a day.