Somebody

was ready for school this morning 😍

(Incidentally, that is not a leash on his collar, I accidentally drew on the picture when I was editing it to make it smaller and I don't have time to go back and fix it.  *giggle* )

Perpetua and Fervency

We LOVE missionary stories, heroes of the faith stories.  One of our favorite series, hands down, has been Christian Heroes Then and Now.  Recently, we discovered on Amazon Prime that you could watch the Torchlighter's series by Voice of the Martyrs.  This afternoon I have had this headache that just will not go away.  Finally, I called it a day and we piled on the parent's bed and watched the story of Perpetua.

Oh.My.

I had never, before today, heard of Perpetua.

I will never, after today, forget Perpetua.

This girl, she literally gave up everything.  She lived and died Luke 14:26.  In case you are not familiar with Luke 14 verse 26, Jesus says, (I am paraphrasing) 'if anyone comes to Me and does not hate their mother and father, their own children, their very own lives, such a person cannot be My disciple.'

This is one of those verses that I usually trip over, wonder at, question, argue, struggle with, and just cannot wrap my mind around.    I cannot imagine hating - and I know it doesn't mean hate in terms of being mean, it means to love Him so much that it seems like you despise the greatest earthly treasures you are given.  Ouch.  I do not do this.  I want Jesus and my family.  I want Jesus and a fabulous earthly life.  What would I do if I was faced with the choice, like Perpetua.  I need time to process this.  I need time to mull over what I have just learned.  This girl's story is one of those that wreck you.

A few nights ago we were watching Chris Beat Cancer.  I love this guy.  I have watched it for three years now when he posts it free on his website.  He spoke about his walk with God a few modules ago and I am still thinking over what he had to say about fervent prayer and what that looks like.  I realized at the end of the night what I thought of as fervent prayer was more like when I felt like it prayer, or when I am in a pinch prayer.  Ouch.  I need time to mull over this some more and make some changes.

Frustrated

I am mom to three.  Three beautiful girls who bring me SO much joy.  They love me something fierce.  And I love them back more.

My three happen to struggle with mental health issues, chronic medical conditions, and learning disabilities/struggles that range from mild to severe.  No, they will not be driving or graduating or leaving for college or doing most things kids their age will be doing when the calendar year says they should or their grandparent or uncle or aunt or family member or friend thinks that it's time for them to.  Asking them about it, pressuring them with tons of questions, that isn't going to make it happen any sooner.  Actually, it just makes them want to avoid you and not spend any time with you.  They will do it when they are ready.

Please remember that some disabilities are in fact invisible.

That means that you canNOT look at someone and tell whether they are healthy and whole or struggling with something that would bring you to your knees.  You can not look at someone and tell if they have a sexually transmittable disease, you can not look at someone and always tell if they have a sore throat or a headache or even cancer.  So why in the world do we think we can accurately judge whether someone else has a mental health issue or not by just looking at them?  Why do others feel compelled to offer their advice?  Their experience?  Their opinion?  

Do you spend twenty-four/seven with my family?  Nope.  Do you go to the doctor appointments with us?  Nope.  Do you deal with the metldowns and the migraines and everything in between?  NOPE!  That would be my kids, me, my husband, and a team of doctors and specialists.  Last year alone my kids, collectively, saw six different specialists regularly - month in and month out.  Believe me, if possible, I would not have my kids on any medication.  But medication is NOT a cop-out.  It is not because I doubt God's willingness to heal, it is not so my life will be easier, it has ALWAYS always ALWAYS been a last resort.  But I believe that the same God who can heal someone by speaking it over them, the same God that walked the earth in the form of Jesus, whom had such power that if someone touched the fringe of His garments would be healed, that same God (He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow) has gifted physicians and pharmacists with knowledge to help people live and function.  Yes, I do realize that sometimes doctors reach for their prescription pad before they should, and yes I do realize that some people abuse and overuse medicine and drugs, but not everyone who takes medicine is doing that.  

I am SO glad to hear when someone has been healed of something.  That is awesome.  It glorifies God. Truly is such an amazing thing to hear.

But just like there are sincere, devout, Bible-believing, Spirit-led Christ-followers who are GINORMOUSLY blessed with physical wealth, there are just as many (if not more) sincere, devout, Bible-believing, Spirit-led Christ-followers who are not just poor, but in fact severely impoverished.  Just like there are sincere, devout, Bible-believing, Spirit-led Christ-followers who walk and live in complete freedom, there are just as many (again, if not more) around the world who sit in jail cells right now, enduring what we would consider nightmare scenarios.  

So, would it not stand to reason that there will be people who are healed and people who instead continue suffer under the weight of chronic medical, mental health, ______________ (fill in the blank) issues?  

Please remember that some people who have not been healed often have just as strong of faith as those that do, believing in something isn't going to make it happen if it isn't God's will for it to happen.

Also, please remember that all healing comes in HIS time and is only temporary and actually only delaying the inevitable.  Life ends, hopefully after a beautiful, long life, but everyone meets the same end eventually.  Whether it is cancer or heart disease or old age or an accident.  Any healing that takes place here on earth, like any material blessing - they are temporary.  

Heaven is forever. 

2 Corinthians 4:17-18 English Standard Version (ESV)

17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient (temporary), but the things that are unseen are eternal.

Today

Today I am grateful for a dining room table of girls to teach.

Today I am grateful for the hot chocolate I am sipping.

Today I am grateful for a husband who works hard and is so incredibly kind and thoughtful.

Today I am grateful for the snuggly pets we own, the swishy fishy, and the roadrunner we have seen streaking through our backyard this past week.  (Incidentally, they do NOT look like Looney Tunes)

Today I am grateful for friends who send me country home house listings and for future coffee dates.

Today I am grateful for an amazing vet office, with kind and compassionate staff.

Today I am grateful that some human anti-epileptics transfer over to dogs.  (Arendale had a seizure as we walked into the vet office last week for his check-up.  I HATE seizures.)

Today I am grateful that fall is closer and closer with each day that I check off on my calendar.

Today I am grateful for the fact that some people draw a line in the sand and say, "I will NOT cross that line, no matter what everyone else does."

Today I am grateful for good books and great discussions.

I am looking forward to homemade bread, beef stews & chilis, pumpkin spice candles, hot coffee in delicate china cups, my birthday!!! *even though I will be 43 (where has the time gone?!?!).  I am looking forward to warm jackets and see your breath mornings, crunchy fall leaves, running and not feeling like I need a portable air conditioner just to make it through.  I am looking forward to the holidays and pumpkin pies and warm cookies.

Always I am grateful that God woke me up this morning, that His Word was here to greet me and a fresh new day, just as it is there at the end of a long, awful day, to comfort me (especially when it was me who was awful!) and soothe me before bed.

Always I am grateful that Jesus came, lived the life He lived, died the death He died, and that He lives right now, interceding on our behalf in the very presence of God.