Wednesday, March 27, 2019

And then there was the moment

that my oldest turned seventeen. 

Do you ever feel like time sifts through your hand quicker than you can fully appreciate the moments? 

I, as of late, have spent a fair amount of time thinking back over this beautiful young woman's handful of years. 

I remember the first moment I found out I was pregnant, the first cries, the first time I felt the weight of her warm, snuggly, slightly squishy form in my arms, swaddled up in the hospital's pink and blue striped blanket.  I remember the first diaper changes and disastrous first bathing attempts.  The long nights and the exhaustion.  I remember the first time she seemed to know if it was me versus someone else holding her.  The first time she smiled and then giggled.  The first hugs and kisses.  She was such a curious baby.  I remember when the doctor tried to tell me it was time to wean her from nursing, so I dutifully sat her in the hi-chair, got a bottle, and filled it with milk.  I gave her the bottle, turned my back for a moment only to whip around in surprise when I heard splashing and giggling.  She, as little as she was, had disassembled the bottle, poured it out all over herself and the hi-chair, and was happily playing in it.  She had zero interest in that bottle.  So we defied the doctor's advice and nursed until she was ready to wean herself.  I remember the time she was in that little walker with wheels and figured out that if she grabbed our dogs' tail or collar they would take off through the house and she would get the ride of a lifetime.  I remember how she was never content to see that something worked, she wanted to figure out why and how it worked.  I remember when she was turning twelve and all that she wanted was a bunny.  She spent a YEAR researching about rabbits, campaigning for one, and daily (sometimes hourly) asking over and over again if we would PLEASE get her a bunny.  This is the same child that learning to read - it was REALLY, really difficult for her.  She has lots of hard things in life actually, things that would overwhelm me.  But she gets up each day and tries again.  If someone tells her she cannot do something, she sets out to prove them wrong.  Because God created her for a purpose and she has been told over and over again since she was born that she is fearfully and wonderfully made.

As the years wash over me, I find myself laughing out loud at some of the memories.  Ones that she would absolutely forbid me to share.  Memories are tucked in my heart, treasures that are bittersweet to pull out and pour over.  I remember so many moments of joy, of sadness, of hard, hard things.  This beautiful gift from God is becoming an incredibly talented, quite lovely (inside and out) young woman.  She loves to write notes to her friends and ask them how she can pray for them, she created this drawing last night that was INCREDIBLE, she writes stories and reads aloud in such a captivating way.  She loves rabbits, horses, wolves, hawks, archery, running, talking, creating amazing scarves and hats with knitting and crocheting...in short, I am SO incredibly proud of my firstborn, beautiful girl. 

Happy Birthday, Darling. 

I cannot wait to see what God has in store for you.

Sunday, March 24, 2019

Random Tidbits

I messed up the no chocolate challenge when we were sick because hot chocolate is very soothing on a sore throat.  I will restart again tomorrow.

We are cleaning our house today, moving stuff around.  That's always interesting, a much bigger job than I seem to think it will be until we are in the middle and then I am like - ummm maybe we shoulda planned for a week, not just a day?!?!

Someone swiped our credit card number and tried to rent a car - which means that while they may or may not be in trouble, our account is frozen, we have to get a new number, and the charge (just under 500 dollars) is being disputed, so it's sitting there, as if we spent that money, until they can get it cleared up.  It wouldn't be that big of a deal, except for the fact that we just went through this six months ago.  It is SO frustrating when someone tries to steal from you.  I wonder if they experience as much frustration as the person whom they steal from?  I also wonder how these people who do things like this, how can they sleep at night?  

While I am typing this post, we are all curled up on the parent's bed watching a hibachi cooking video.  SO SO neat to watch.  It is also making me VERY hungry.  I am now TOTALLY convinced that I need one of those hibachi grills.  And a personal chef.  

I got a label maker last year.  I LOVE to label stuff.  So you know what I did today?  I labeled my bookshelves.  I told my girls, come up with names and we are naming them.  Now I can make my book lists manageable...Mysterious Benedict Society trilogy...oh yeah, that's on George.  Science biographies?  They are now on Hiccup.  😍

Long push forward, quick flip back.  Now we are watching a wok cooking how-to video.  

Did I mention that we took one of my girls' bunny (well she's technically now a year old, but I probably will always think of her as the baby 😊 ) to get spayed?  She did really well, except for Friday when we were gone most of the day for doctor appointments and we came home to discover that she ate part of her cone.  Seriously she ate part of the plastic cone.  Rabbits cannot throw up, so if she didn't pass it naturally, it would be surgery.  Again.  Our puggle puppy who had emergency surgery last year didn't even eat his cone and he eats EVERYTHING.  *sigh*   We truly have the weirdest pet dramas.

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Well...

we've all gotten sick now.

It has been miserable.

I still have a really, really sore throat and we are still laying around much of the day.

Ick.

I just read a post on one of my favorite, favorite blogs and it inspired me to post a to-be read list here.   Since I've been really, really remiss in my personal reading life, I thought this post might encourage/remind me to pick up one of these in my next quiet moment :

The Hidden Life of Prayer by David McIntyre (I'm working through this slowly)
Gospel by J.D. Greear (I'm also working through this one slowly)
Suffering by Paul David Tripp
The Book of Mysteries by Jonathan Cahn (using this as a daily devotional right now)
Journey to the Cross by Will Walker (also using this as a daily devotional right now)
False Prince by Jennifer Nielsen (need to pre-read for my girls)
The Little White Horse by Elizabeth Goudge (need to pre-read for my girls)
Praying Hyde The Life of John Hyde by E.G. Carre
Teaching to Change Lives by Dr. Howard Hendricks (reading this one, have been reading it off and on for a while - need to finish it!)
The Book Girl (am reading this and LOVE it)
Sweep: the Story of a Girl and her Monster by Jonathan Auxier (this is going to be a read aloud as soon as we feel better, I hope!)
The Secret Keepers by Trenton Lee Stewart (need to pre-read for my girls)

The girls and I are currently reading George Mueller by Janet and Geoff Benge (we have absolutely FALLEN in love with the Christian Heroes Now and Then seriesπŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™) and The Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness by Andrew Peterson.  We really, really, REALLY like this book so far.  And for fun, I am finally reading the Mysterious Benedict Society (trilogy) by Trenton Lee Stewart (my girls have already completed these and LOVED them).

Friday, March 8, 2019

Day 2 (which would have been yesterday) of Lent

Journey to the Cross (by Will Walker and Kendal Haug) is the devotional I chose to journey through the Lent season this year.  Yesterday's questions nailed down exactly why I am doing this.  Specifically the first one:

"What do you run to for comfort, pleasure, and entertainment?"

I wish my answer was the Word of God. 

Prayer. 

His presence.

Or even worship music.

But overwhelmingly, embarrassingly enough, the answer was chocolate.

There is something so comforting to me about a cup of hot chocolate.  It is like getting a hug in a cup.  I realized after I completed the rest of yesterday's readings and answered all of the questions, that is why I need to lay down chocolate for a season.  If I take away all of the extras, will Jesus be enough?  That is what I need to settle in my heart.  Not the correct churchy answer, but the rock-solid answer that I can stand on, lean on, and grasp with both hands.

Thursday, March 7, 2019

good Thursday...

My husband is home with the flu.  He got sick over the weekend and I made him go to the doctor on Tuesday.  He has been quite miserable.  We get flu shots every year, but it seems like we also end up with the flu every year too.  πŸ™

I have kind of an eclectic background in faith.  I have Jewish heritage that I absolutely cherish, my Great-Grandmother was Jewish and in her adult life accepted Jesus Christ as her Savior.  I went to Catholic school until sixth grade, and was raised in a non-denominational Christian church that had a strong bent towards Southern Baptist.  My husband, kids, and I try to keep Passover, Hannukah, Rosh Hashanah, and Yom Kippur.  We celebrate Shabbat, Sabbath, starting at sundown on Fridays.  But for the first time in my adult life, I've decided to try Lent.  I have been hesitant to try it, afraid that I would become legalistic and try to earn something (one of my many, many weaknesses in life).  And I have a hard time giving up comforts like chocolate, especially on the really hard days.  What if I say I am doing this, but cannot stick with it?   Also, is it ok to do something like Lent since it is not a Biblical feast or observance, but instead is a man-made/church made tradition?  As I was thinking through these and many many many other questions running circuits through my heart, I was reminded of something I tell my kids all the time.  Why you do something is just as, if not more, important than what you do.  Why am I doing this?  Am I doing it because everyone else is doing it?  Am I doing this to try to earn favor with God?  Am I doing this to prove something to anyone else, including myself?  Or am I doing this to reset my heart, my focus, my affections?

My life tends toward chaos. 

There is always someone having some sort of a medical crisis - our pets too - it is kind of crazy.  Due to the chronic health issues with my kids, it feels like non-stop stress sometimes.  I definitely am almost always completely distracted, barely able to snatch five minutes of quiet during the day.

I desperately need a reset with God. 

So, I decided that Lent leading up to Passover was the perfect time to do this.  I gave up chocolate (except on Shabbat - Sabbath day - the mini-resurrection celebrations leading up to the ultimate celebratory day) and am doing a devotional called Journey to the Cross.  I think that it will be good for me to once again be reminded of just how much I need a Savior and just how much God did for us when He sent His Son Jesus to be our propitiation, our atonement.  I have a feeling that life - the good, the bad, and all of the in-between, will pale in comparison as I gaze at the cross.