Hard

Life is brutal sometimes.  It seems like things should get easier after a while, but they get harder.

Sometimes there are no words.  The burden feels crippling hard, it feels like you aren't going to make it through this season and if you do - will you even know yourself?

Are there promises in His Word to carry you and yours through storms?

You bet there are.

You know my favorite way to get these promises and truth about Who God is into my heart so that my tears will not fall in despondency, but hope?

Music.

So in case anyone else is walking through what feels impossible...

(specifically John Piper's sermon portion)

I have been thinking recently, mostly worrying if I am honest.

About racism and how it has affected the lives of those around me...

About judgment and persecution...

About anger and justice and mercy...

About staying quiet to not add your voice to the fray...

About listening and hearing (because they are not the same)...

About staying quiet and being complicit and about speaking up and being complicit...

About standing up for the persecuted, the oppressed...

About serving others, treating them how I want to be treated, letting them go first, being willing to be wronged...

About how we as humans are so quick to judge someone on their appearance, their abilities (or disabilities - we experience this one first hand all of the time)...

About all of the broken hearts in this world that just want someone to come alongside them and do life with them.  Listening to them, praying for them, serving them...

I ask myself - what can I do - a stay at home homeschool mom?  I began by asking myself, what would I want to be on the receiving end of ...

Reach out to that person that is hurting and let them know you see them, you hear them, you are praying for them.  As painful as it can be, listen - truly listen and hear - what your critics have to say.  Most of the time their frustration has reached this point because they have been speaking for a looooong time and it feels like no one has cared to listen.  Choose a book for your next read that is from an opposing viewpoint, you may be surprised to discover what you will learn.  Write letters and pray for the leaders - local, state, national.

But mostly...

Most of all, keep my eyes on God.  Stay deeply tucked into His Word.  Pray for those that you consider your enemies.  Ask Him to show you where you need to change and then get busy about what He shows you.  Gather those that you love, friends & family, around you for no other purpose than to make much of Him (was reminded of this again today in reading a tweet by Paul Washer - I love Paul Washer!!!)  Talk about Christ, sing about Him, and to Him.  Talk about how He has been faithful, talk about what justice means.  Revel in His mercy, drink it deeply into your soul, so that you can shovel it right back out.

Do justice.

Love kindness.

Walk humbly with God.  Micah 6:8

Reading Challenge Update

I am not indifferent to the amount of suffering, chaos, hurt, and anger in this past week's headlines, my heart hurts for George Floyd’s family, for Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor’s families, for all of the first responders and possible coronavirus fallout, for the failures upon failures that our country seems unable to crawl out from under.  I am sad for how far from God we find ourselves.   I am also worn out from juggling things in our private life, and scared and worried about where all of this is headed, that I actually don't know what to say or pray, except for Jesus come soon, please come soon.

My 2020 reading challenge update:

I've read a few things since I last posted, but I did take a bit of a rabbit trail from what I had planned to read.  It was worth every moment!  Even if the majority of those moments were snatched while folding laundry, stirring a boiling pot of pasta, perched on my chair outdoors in the early morning awash with birdsong, or bleary-eyed as I try to get just one more chapter in before I shut my tired eyes.

So, without further ado:

One of my girls read Night of the Full Moon by Gloria Whelan to me.  It was such a delightful book!!  Especially since it was one of my girls reading to me😍.

I finally, FINALLY read Isaiah 53 Explained by Mitch Glaser all the way through.  I have had this to read for years, started it, had to put it down for some reason or another...ugh!  But now I can say I finally did it.  I read it and I am so glad that I did.

Some excerpts that I want to remember:

pg. 30 'Consider the exquisite attention to detail paid to the preservation and transmission of the Scriptures from generation to generation, especially before the invention of the printing press.  For example, the oldest text of Isaiah 53 we have is from approximately 200 BCE; it was found in Qumran and is part of the collection of the Dead Sea Scrolls.  Before this discovery, the oldest we have was from 900 CE.  The two texts are virtually identical word for word, which gives powerful testimony to the care and precision of the Jewish copyists and to the hand of God on the process.

pg. 32 'Fundamentally, salvation means to be set free from bondage to live in the spiritual freedom of God's promise and presence.'

pg. 37 'Consider the fact that we cannot squeeze God into a scientific method that was intended to describe and measure creation, not the Creator.'

pg. 41 'The Biblical vision of the future will take place whether we choose to participate or not.  The future coming of the Messiah is as sure as the creation of the world.  There is nothing that can stop the coming of the Messiah and the coming of His kingdom.

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett.  I want a secret garden.  I want to skip rope with Mary down the pathways, peer through the ivy to find the lost door, dig in the earth with Dickon.  I want to crawl into this book and live right there, right now.

Redemption, Remember, Return, Rejoice, and Reunion by Karen Kingsbury.  Oh my.  I love, love, love the Baxter family.  I already loved them from reading The Best Family Ever, but reading the adult stories of the five children of John and Elizabeth Baxter made me love them even more.  I want to move to Bloomington, Indiana, and live in the stories that Karen tells.  I want their faith in God, I want to hear His voice and lean into Him the way they do (and learn to do throughout the five book series).

Next up -

(on my list to read)


(out loud to the girls)


(on my list)


(out loud to the girls)