I grew up in Kentucky, most of my family still lives there.
Praying for the entire state - Jesus be near.
Psalm 34:18
Dear LORD,
Please be especially close to those who are broken-hearted tonight, lift up and save those who are discouraged and crushed in spirit.
Amen.
I remember being a teenager and hearing ladies at church talk about not letting someone "steal their joy" and I would roll my eyes and cringe, thinking that was just about the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard.
Yet, here I am, twenty-odd years later, writing a blog post about that very thing. Funny how time brings perspective, understanding, and a good heaping (& very much needed) dose of humility.
Today is the first day of fall. I start looking forward to today on the second day of spring. Truly fall and winter are my favorite, favorite, favorite seasons. That first crisp cool day after the blistering heat of summer is pure bliss.
Bliss, I tell you!
This morning I needed to run and get spiral bound graph paper notebooks. It took some effort, but I redirected my focus from discouragement and angst to joy. There is one doctor that I am REALLY struggling with right now. This doctor is essential to the care and well being of my kids, and there has been quite a bit of miscommunication and it has created a firestorm in my heart of angst and frustration. Anyway, today was the first day of fall, one of my favorite moments all year, so I was going to be happy and enjoy today - even if it killed me - ha! So, I loaded up the car, backed out of my driveway, sipped my hot chocolate, and happily chattered away about today being the FIRST.DAY.OF.FALL. SQUEE!!!!
I could feel it, a deep contented joy well up inside of me, my heart felt lighter, hope was bubbling over...UNTIL a college girl with a sorority sticker plastered on the back of her new black car cut in front of me with NO warning, almost causing me to rear-end her. I honked at her, she sped up and then again cut over without any warning, I suspect hoping I would rear-end the car she narrowly avoided because he was at a dead stop in front of her. I was SO mad at this point. But the cherry on top? She flipped me off. SHE FLIPPED ME OFF. She was in the wrong and she had the audacity to flip me off??? I wish I could say I prayed for her. I wish I could say I just trusted God to handle it and let it go. I wish I could say I blessed her and went on to enjoy the rest of my morning. But NO I had to let my temper get the better of me and I returned her one-finger salute. Why, oh why, did I stoop to her level? Why did I let her steal my joy? Why did I allow her to offend me? As I made my way back home after my errand I pondered these questions. Gone was the joy. Gone was the contentment. Gone was the lightness of heart. In its place was the discouragement and angst from earlier, now coupled with anger.
Rosh Hashannah was this past weekend, Yom Kippur is coming. In between are tucked ten days of reflection and repentance. Jesus is my hope - He is the only hope I have for redemption. Yet God still holds us responsible for our behaviors, He still calls us to repent - to return to Him. I have no idea what was tucked in the heart of that sorority girl, I do however know what was tucked into mine. And it wasn't joy, it wasn't patience, or kindness, or mercy, or anything remotely reflective of the heart of Christ. It was selfishness. Pure and simple. And a root of bitterness I have allowed to spring up.
So you know what I did?
I came home and I started over. God is faithful, His mercy is new each and every morning. So I asked Him for it - buckets of it. And He gave it. I am sorry for all of the times that I fail, that I lose my temper, that I get offended, that I carry hurts too far. May He take my heart, and give me His. Every moment of every day until He carries me home. And until that moment, when I get to behold His face before mine, may I strive to not let others steal my joy.
I want to celebrate by counting forty-four things I am SO thankful for...
1) my husband. I seriously have the most amazing husband. He is kind and thoughtful and loves me and our girls to perfection.
2) our girls. I love my three girls. They are almost all grown now and some of them face impossible things every.single.day. These three girls love me so well, I am honored and SO thankful I get to be their Momma. These three are SO SO SO SO treasured.
3) my mom. She has shingles right now (please pray for her) and is completely miserable. But she sent me Pooh Bear messages through texting this morning. Despite feeling so crummy, she still went out of her way to make my day special. She also texts me a Pooh or Teddy Bear GIF every night & some mornings to wish me good night or to greet me when I wake up, it reminds me of when I was little and she would pack my lunch box with a little note each day. I would open up my Smurfs lunch box, excited, not for the food (it was great, but that wasn't what I was excited about) and look to see what note *with a sticker!!! - I dearly LOVED stickers* that she tucked inside for me. All these years later and I feel that same moment of excitement to open texting to see what she sent today/tonight. 💕
4) our pharmacist. I love our pharmacy. There are two main pharmacists there and they continually go above and beyond for my family. They are amazing and I am SO thankful for them.
5) the local Starbucks. I love the staff at our local Starbucks. I LOVE LOVE LOVE hot chocolates and Starbucks happens to make amazing hot chocolates. But the people can make or break a place, can't they? The local staff here are so sweet, day in and day out, definitely making it an amazing place.
6) our pets. All of them. Even our 'special needs' dog who was once again in ICU Labor Day weekend. I am learning to enjoy the moments with them, because life is short and we are not guaranteed a tomorrow.
7) chocolate. I am SO thankful God created chocolate. I dearly love chocolate.
8) Paul David Tripp. I just finished the book Suffering by Paul David Tripp and I LOVED this book. This book is THE BEST book I have read in 2020. I am going to go through it a second time with a friend and I am SO excited to do this.
9) friends. I have had a hard time finding some good, close friends since moving here fourteen years ago. Part of the problem is that my life is SO crazy. I cannot make any plans because our situation/health issues are SO unpredictable. It is understandably difficult to be friends with someone like me. I also am very introverted. So I am not up for a lot of social things that most people enjoy. So finding someone(s) to get to know, open up to, and relate to, it has been a challenge, to say the least. But I am SO thankful for the ones that God has brought into my life. I hope they know how much their gift of friendship means to me.
10) our doctors. OK, we have a LOT of specialists that we see, some seasons more than others. And not all of them are easy to deal with - they are busy and things drop through the cracks and I get frustrated. But at the end of the day, without doctors, our lives would be truly miserable. I am thankful for our doctors. My favorites are our Pediatric Neurologist and Dr. M. I dearly love these two women and am SO SO SO SO thankful they are our doctors.
11) our dentist. We ran into some issues through the Coronavirus and I thought at one point we were going to have to change offices and I was SO upset. I hate going to the dentist, but I LOVE our dentist office - the two dentists and the entire staff - I absolutely adore them. I prayed and begged God to do anything other than move us from this dentist's office. It took a few weeks to get straightened out - but Praise God it all worked out!!
12) poached eggs. I tried poached eggs for the first time this past year and now make them regularly. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE poached eggs and cannot believe it took me 43 years to try them with as many eggs as we eat. Next up for trying is avocado toast. I see it all over Instagram and am intrigued.
13) social media. I love Instagram and Pinterest. I love the Scripture Writing, Bible Journaling, and Planner Idea pictures the most. My girls love the animals (I do have to admit - Hilarious Pets on Instagram is SO funny!!!!)
14) bullet journaling. Each one I make is like a little scrapbook/snapshot of our year.
15) five-year diary. Several years ago, my husband bought me a one-line a day five-year mommy diary. I am on my second one and I cannot tell you how many times I refer back six or seven years to find something I need. These are SUCH a treasure.
16) Pandora. I love the Christmas station.
17) candles. Pumpkin spice, cinnamon, or lilac are my favorites.
18) lights. I LOVE lights - fairy lights, twinkle lights, Christmas lights, my light up tree from Hobby Lobby. I love coming into a dark room and plugging those in and just soaking in the quiet.
19) kindle. I LOVE my kindle. My sweet husband saved up his gift cards one year and bought me and our girls kindles. This is what I mean when I say my husband is awesome!!!
20) baking. It.is.almost.time. to bake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
21) Christmas movies. I LOVE CHRISTMAS MOVIES!
22) magnets. We created a visual to-do list earlier this year to help some of our kids with daily tasks. My husband found these magnets that are shaped like push-pins. They are SO neat!!
23) masks. I know this is a hot topic for a lot of people, and don't worry, I'm not giving my opinion of whether everyone should or should not wear masks, but I am SO thankful 1) that there is the choice and masks are available to those who want/need to wear them and 2) the creativity of people!!! I love seeing the different fabrics and styles of masks when we go out.
24) post-lockdown. I am SO glad we are post-lockdown and we can walk through stores again. Apparently, we use this as a coping mechanism. And I am SO glad it's available again.
25) physical therapy. I re-tore my ACL earlier this year and am SO thankful that there are exercises to strengthen us when we are repeatedly clumsy.
26) veterinarians. I am SO thankful for our vet office.
27) school supplies. Pens, poster board, pencils, spiral-bound notebooks, PLANNERS... 💖💖💖
28) read-alouds. Oh my - this is the MOST important thing we do all day. We connect, we discuss, we grow, and we travel to all kinds of neat places.
29) decaf coffee. I love coffee.💖
30) books. If I could convert our entire house into a library I totally would.
31) fireplaces. We don't have one, but I wish we did.
32) disney. I LOVE old Disney. I love some of the new things, but mostly I LOVE the magic of old Disney.
33) the beach. 💝
34) nature study. God is SO SO incredibly amazing, is He not???
35) early mornings outside. This just lets my heart breathe.
36) flowers. The beauty, the fragrance, the joy of watching them grow from a seed or bulb.
37) birds. Especially hummingbirds!!!!
38) teddy grahams. Yes, the little chocolate bear crackers that are for kids. I love them.
39) homemade pizza. My husband is a GREAT cook. Homemade pizza is one of my favorite things he makes.
40) stuffed animals. As a kid, I had this stuffed animal named Bunny. It went everywhere - through my childhood, the bumpy teen years, the lonely college ones, on my honeymoon. After the birth of my firstborn I realized it was safer to find a spot on a shelf - free from little hands and mouths 😍...it took years of trial and error, but I have a stuffed piglet that I now sleep with every night, and he is almost as well-loved as Bunny.
41) coffee houses and book stores. I love to go into coffee shops, the smells, the sights, the sounds, the treats!! I would live in a book store if I could. Seriously.
42) fall. I adore fall. There is nothing like that first cool morning after the blistering heat of summer.
43) snow. Is there anything that compares to the joy and wonder of a snowy day???⛄❅❄☃
44) The Word of God. I left the best for last. It is my anchor, I am learning to make it my daily bread. There is nothing in this world. NOTHING, that is more important. Hold it fast, hold it close, dig in and dig deep. These verses, in particular, have ministered to my heart unlike anything else this year:
Zechariah 2:5
Lamentations 3:20-26
Isaiah 41:10
Acts 17:26
Psalm 37
