Wednesday, April 10, 2013

I needed an escape.  The words are scrambling to get out.  So I find myself  here. 

Yesterday I glanced outside and the trees have literally burst forth with new life.  The tiny green leaves look so healthy and strong, if I stared long enough it was almost as if I could seen them shivering with excitement.  The joy of the birds and the chubby squirrel were almost palpable.  I turned away and found myself wanting that.  That joy, that new life to unfurl within me.  Because it feels like in my personal life, we are still knee deep in a long, cold, quiet winter.  The snow is still falling when it seems like everyone else is basking in the sun and gentle breezes.

My sweet husband bought me an audio book last night.  It was from the Bible Experience, Psalms.  OH MY, OH MY.  It was the best three dollars and ninety-five cents we have ever spent.  Exhausted I crawled into bed last night, my children are sick.  Again.  Which means more than a simple cold.  It is not my story to tell, but the simple things become complicated very easily.  I am tired.  I have not slept through a full night in so long….I plug in one headphone, leaving the other out so I can hear if I am needed, ask my husband to help rub backs and feel my eyes heavy.  The hope, the truth, the beauty play softly in my ear. 

The next thing I know I open my eyes, twenty minutes before my alarm!  I want to stand on the bed and sing hallelujah a the top of my lungs, but then realize that would wake everyone else up.  Not so nice.  So I practically skip down the hallway.  My children slept through the night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I feel like a new woman.  I can again hope that today could be a good day, I can slay the laundry dragon and tame the unruly kitchen.  I am no longer brought to tears over the cheerios on the floor, oh no, I can wield the vacuum cleaner like an expert.  Granted there is no rhyme or reason to how I vacuum (think Phoebe from friends, the way she runs….this is the way I vacuum and mow the grass…yes I drive my sweet methodical husband absolutely nuts!  J but he loves me anyway).

Then I come in here with my steaming coffee and decide to light a candle and play the book aloud as I begin my day.  I see a new Hello Morning email in my box.  I open it and am again reminded that God cares for us so deeply.  He meets us right where we are.  That means something different to everyone.  But today, for me, it means that I realize that His mercy is new EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.  That is good.  Because some days I drink to the bottom of the container.  But you know what?  There is always enough, I never have to subsist on the dregs.  There is always enough sweet mercy to meet each day. 

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