Caring for someone(s) with special needs and chronic mental health struggles and chronic unexplainable physical health symptoms can be brutal. It.is.SO.hard. There is no way anyone can understand it unless they walk it or live with it. I can't really speak to the depth of difficulty for the person who has it, because I have minor, run of the mill life struggles, like a gentle rain shower. I care for those that have a tsunami of struggles. Like so overwhelming you cannot catch your breath, it knocks you to your knees, you are not sure you are going to make it to the other side struggles. I cannot speak to what that feels like. To have to bear that weight each day. But, I can speak to the loneliness, the exhaustion, the desperation as a mom trying to get the right help, the right medications, the right people to listen.
The frustration of waiting, waiting, waiting.
For this test result, this medication to kick in to see if it is going to have crippling side effects, this day to be over, tomorrow to dawn... I wish I could carry this for them. But all I can do is go through it with them.
This week there was a moment where one of my children was in a machine, and although they let me go back in the room with this child, I was on the outside of the machine. Earplugs in, sitting quietly in a chair, watching,once again waiting. I prayed - Jesus I can't get in there and comfort her. She is scared. She does not do well with these things, please crawl in there and hold her - be so close to her that she can relax and get through this. She did and we are still waiting to hear the results.
Which brings me to this, I wanted to share what my current coping mechanisms are for two reasons. One, in case the idea sparks something for someone else and helps them and two because I tend to have the attention span of a fruit fly. Writing these down, helps me stay anchored and realize that although life is hard, God has given me some amazing ways to cope with it, blessings that I so often take for granted. So here is a list of coping mechanisms that I am SO SO SO grateful for:
1) Sitting outside early in the morning. I grab my phone, Bible, journal, the latest book I am reading, my coffee, my snack, and now my citronella candle and park myself outside. I read, think, journal, and just soak in the peace and quiet of the early morning birdsong, the scritch and scrabble of a squirrel, and often times chuckle at the bunny as he unknowingly hops quietly by. Such a gift. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my mornings right now.
2) Hot Chocolates. Ok these have made me gain weight and cost money, so I am trying to cut back, but getting a Hot Chocolate is like getting a hug from the inside. There is such comfort, even in the heat of the summer. I absolutely love Starbucks Hot Chocolates.
3) Driving Around. During the lockdown and now even beyond when I would not let the girls go in anywhere for fear of them contracting the virus, we would load up the car and drive around. Normally this does not help, normally this makes things worse, but this spring and now into the summer, driving around has literally saved our sanity most days.
4) I have so much medication to manage for so many different people (and animals!), these medication dividers are AWESOME. I love these things. I set them up on Sundays and these save so much effort and worrying whether so and so took the morning meds or not. And in the same token - phone alarms! These save us daily. I have even learned to set a thirty minute reminder prior to a medication if it's one we consistently forget. My people have to have their medications within ten or fifteen minutes of the same time, every single day, or bad things happen. That takes weeks to recover from. So phone alarms and medication organizers are such a life saver!!
5) Coffee! I have, for some odd reason, been able to start having small amounts of caffeine again. I found a k-cup machine this winter on sale (it was an after Christmas sale I think), anyway my husband let me order it and every single morning I can have a small cup of this:
In the afternoon, I use my mini-coffee pot and have a small decaf cup of this:
6) Words. I usually choose a word to govern my year. This year I did choose one, but I haven't been able to stick with just focusing on that one word (which ironically was the word 'one'). I have four areas of my life that I constantly feel a tug of war with - fitness, money, tidying my spaces, and reading. SO - I got a coupon a few months ago for this ring place that engraves messages on jewelry. I decided on my message and ordered the ring. Each day, literally right on my hand is a reminder of what I need to work on. This has been such a great idea!!
7) Bullet Journaling. I have recently returned to bullet journaling and am SO happy that I did. It is a way to get my jumbled thoughts on paper, keep a running tally of what I need to do (i.e. what I am supposed to be doing, but forgot), and track tasks, events, and projects all in one space.
8) BSF summer Bible app. My youngest absolutely LOVES the book of Ruth. We read and reread that book of the Bible weekly. My mom sent me some information about a summer Bible study app and I signed up. Although it has looked differently that I thought it would, it is awesome.
9) David Suchet. OK, so my girls and I set a 100 day summer school challenge at the beginning of June and one of the things on that list (there are only three total) was to get through the New Testament in 100 days. I have an audible verson of David Suchet reading the gospels and it has been SUCH a blessing.
10) Reading. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to read. To myself, out loud, in the car, out back, in line at the grocery store, in waiting rooms at the doctor offices. I will even read to our dogs. I love to read. So this year I chose to try Tim Challies reading challenge and thought it would be a fun way to end this reeeaaaaalllllly long post :)
Box of Butterflies
Best Family Ever
A Chance to Die
Curate of Glaston
All the Light We Cannot See
Stella By Starlight
Harriet Tubman (Christian Heroes Now and Then)
Freedom Crossing
Lady's Confession
Letters to the Church
Katie Parker book 5
Night of the Full Moon (was read to me)
Isaiah 53 Explained
Secret Garden
Redemption, Remember, Return, Rejoice, Reunion 5 book series
Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up
Sweep - ok this is the only book I have hated enough to stop half way through. I really, REALLY did NOT like this book. I wanted to, it came so highly recommended, but I couldn't finish it.
Dot Journaling A Practical Guide
Waiting on God
Alice in Wonderland
Brady
The last six books will have there own post ❤
I thought of one final coping mechanism, which if you get any texts at all from me, or if you follow me on Instagram you already know this:
11) I love to take random pictures (and lots of them!) of our dogs. It just makes me happy.
No comments:
Post a Comment