Suffering

Last year I bought a book by Paul David Tripp called Suffering: Gospel Hope When Life Doesn't Make Sense and also ordered a few more copies for gifts.  Some people close to me were going through hard seasons, so I thought this book might make it easier for them to process their struggles.  Also, Paul David Tripp is a very talented writer with a solid gospel foundation, so a win-win.

I started reading it around Thanksgiving or maybe Christmas of last year.  But then I put it down to read something else and subsequently forgot to get back to it.  I think in the back of my mind I was avoiding it because we are never too far from a hard season and so I thought if I didn't get back to it, well surely we are right on the cusp on an easy season, right???  I mean we are due for some smooth sailing, calm days, beach sunrises and gentle breezes, so why not put off reading the book until much, much later, if at all?!?

I was desperately hoping that suffering would not knock on our door and if it did, I could choose to ignore that call and instead answer another one.

Then 2020 dawned.

And suffering didn't just knock on our door, it has taken a halligan bar and forced its way front and center.

No amount of tears, begging, or pleading is working.  There is no way to go around or under this mountain that has planted itself smack dab in the middle of our lives.   We can't turn back, we can't avoid it or choose a different path, all we can do is to put one foot in front of the other and slowly climb up this monstrosity.  I, at times, am not completely sure we will even make it through this thing intact.

I am so sad.  And terrified.  And anxious.  And angry, so very angry at life - that it has to hurt and be so hard.  I want desperately to choose another way, another path.  But...

This I call to mind and therefore I have hope;
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS.
I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for Him."
Lamentations 3:21-24

And by the way, that book that I was avoiding?  That I would have rather not read?  That's the book I find myself reaching for in the quiet of the morning before the household awakens before the dogs whine, the phone rings...in its pages, I am finding someone who has walked the path of suffering and lived to tell the tale. I highly recommend reading this book, as a way through, a road map of sorts, explaining those impossible seasons of hurting through the lens of the gospel.