Monday, January 23, 2012

Here & Now

Tonight I realized that my life is like an hour glass filling up with one grain of sand at a time. As the sand sifts from the huge pile at the top and drops to the gathering pile at the bottom, that grain of sand that trickles down particle by particle represents who I am. Because my life is lived moment by moment.

The grains of sand at the bottom, pooling around and piling up, those are my yesterdays. Those each mark 24 hours that are gone and never to be lived again. Sometimes this realization makes me giddy and relieved, there are LOTS of yesterdays that I would NEVER, ever like to re-live. Yet sometimes this realization causes the tears to flow unchecked and the grief of what might have been overwhelms me or the sudden realization that one chapter has now ended grieves me. But this pile is who I was.

Those grains of sand that are at the top and have yet to fall those are my tomorrows. And while tomorrow has my hopes pinned on it for who I would like to become, it has yet to unfold. This pile is who I will be.

I have to remind myself that I am not my yesterday or my tomorrow, I am my right now. That single grain of sand dropping down. Because truly all that I have is right now.

God revealed Himself as I AM. Fully present right now. God is eternal, He is not confined or defined by time. He is my past, my present, and my future. He is in the yesterdays because He is without beginning, and He is in the tomorrows because He is without end, but I experience Him fully in the now. So if I am wasting my now by shoveling through the past or by gazing and worrying about my tomorrows, then I fail to fully experience who He is. Right here. Right now.

Wherever you are, be all there. Jim Elliot

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