Saturday, September 29, 2012

The bare hint of grey canopies the trees and roof tops.  A new day is just about to spring forth.  The dawn will rise.  Although it is rare, I do love when I am able to rise before my household.  To leisurely go about fixing the coffee, to have the silence cloak the furthest corners of the house is a rare and precious gift.  Whenever I think of a new day and get to catch it right at the edge that it begins, immediately I think of Lamentations 3.  The promise and the hope contained there.  When reading through the Bible in 90 days everything flows into the next.  The birth of the nation of Israel, the exodus from Egypt, and the giving of what would become Torah is still fresh in your mind when you arrive at Isaiah, Jeremiah and Lamentations.

To read the terror and the sadness that begins chapter three is difficult.  I find myself wanting to skip ahead not wanting to be there in that moment with him.  But I know that I will fail to grasp the full weight of verses 21 through 33 if I do not.  Here he is, in the lowest moment of his life, surrounded by destruction with only his tears to keep him company and he says,
 Yet this I call to mind
and
therefore I have hope
Because of Adonai's great love
we are not consumed
for His compassions fails not
His mercy is new every morning
Great is His faithfulness



Friday, September 28, 2012

Grasp

Start
The feel of His fingers holding tight, grasping me with all that He is.
The knowledge that nothing can separate me from His love still causes wonder.
But also the knowledge that my sin, my lack of willingness to obey His way causes a rift brings me up short.
He can and will discipline me, to teach me and correct the wrongs.
Much like a parent will discipline their child.
It is not pleasant, in fact in often times is hard, and miserable and even when I recognize my guilt, I still don’t want to have to go through those seasons.
But He loves too much to relax His grasp even in that moment.
He opens doors that no man can shut and closes door no man can open.
I reach out, grasp this truth and hold on to it. 

It is my life raft in the stormy sea of life. 

It is my hammock to swing from on the lazy days. 

It is my hope and my life. 

Because there is nothing else to grasp but the truth of who He is.

Stop

Monday, September 24, 2012

The Perfect Cup Of Coffee

In my opinion I have discovered the perfect cup of coffee.  This weekend when we went to the store we turned the corner and my husband pointed out to me a brand new display of Dunkin' Donuts Coffee.  They had pumpkin spice and a mint something or other but then my eyes beheld the one. 
Gingerbread Coffee. 
OH MY. 
I brewed my first cup yesterday morning and two sips later knew that this was perhaps the perfect cup of coffee.  It is like the perfect winter morning wrapped up in a cup.  You know the ones where you get to watch with wonder the beauty of snow flakes falling while being tucked snuggly inside warm and cozy?  Think of all of that in a cup. 
It is that good.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Five Minute Friday

Lisa-Jo Baker's Amazing Five Minute Friday

Start.

This morning I sit at my darkened kitchen table. The sun has yet to peek over the horizon of trees and houses on our street. The day lays before me wide open, stretched clean and ready for us to paint across the canvas of hours. I have my planner at my left elbow and my steaming mug of pike's place roast at my right.

As I type I am thinking of today's word, wide. I googled that word and the Bible verse that had sprung to mind as soon as I read today's five minute writing prompt. Psalm 81 vs 10 it is. Where God asks us to open our mouths wide for He wants to fill it with good things.

How many days have I stubbornly clamped my mouth shut so tightly that my muscles ache? Held captive by fear and unbelief. I have struggled to trust God, truly and completely rest in His goodness. Because sometimes things do not feel so good. My feelings are my greatest assets and my greatest adversaries. They have spurred me on to do great things but have held me captive far too often. I trip over my fear, stumble over my selfishness, and fall face first into the sticky, yucky, goo of unbelief.

But today, today is a new day. Another gift. Another chance, a day wide open for us to place our hand in His and soar.

Stop.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

love when He meets me right where I am

My children and I are doing a jaunt through world history this year. From creation to current events we are filing away facts and absorbing stories of the past that have shaped the realities of today. Susan Wise Bauer introduced me to (through her book The Well Trained Mind) an idea about memorizing facts like all of the Major Wars and the Egyptian Dynasties so that they have pegs to hang the information we are learning on. It has been a cool journey so far.

Right now we are reading the Iliad and Odyssey (a re-written version for children by Mary Pope Osborne) studying the Greeks, the Phoenecians & the Sea People. Yesterday we read about Israel's history, about King David and Solomon and how the kingdom was rent apart into Judah and Israel and how one was eventually conquered by the Babylonians and the other the Assyrians. The books we use are not Christian or Jewish in nature, in fact they do not seem to believe in any God in particular, let alone the one true God. They just present the facts. Yet they talked about the idols baal and molech. The high places that were required for worshipping their idols. King David and King Solomon. The very same facts recorded in the Holiest of books, were written right here in my children's history book.

I had already read Days 49 & 50 of Bible in 90 Days, but this morning I found myself flipping back to Isaiah 1. Reading as fast as my eyes would cross the line, I could hardly sit still. It is exciting to connect the dots from point a to point b. To see a why or a what unfold. I remembered reading in 1 and 2 Samuel and 1 and 2 Chronicles where it tells the story of King Saul, of David who eventually became King and of his son Solomon. I read about Solomon's alliance with King Hiram, the very same Hiram we read about yesterday in our history book. He was a Phoenecian King, King of Tyre. This area was well known for their cedars, the cedars of Lebanon, that King Solomon used to help build the temple of Jerusalem.

But this morning in Isaiah I read and came to chapter six and seven. Tomorrow on our schedule is to cover the Assyrians and how they conquered Israel. And here in the words of Isaiah, here it foretells it. Chapter 8 is headed with this title "Assyria, the LORD's Instrument" SO cool!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Good Morning

It is deliciously chilly this morning.  My sweet ones are all snuggled down in their blankets, the dog curled into a ball of fur.  It is a glorious morning on the cusp of fall, crunchy pecan shells and acorn leftovers scattered everywhere.  The squirrels have been very busy.  Tanner enjoys the fact that the squirrels knock down the pecans for him, he had developed quite a taste for them, but he does not enjoy when they dare to jump from the tree, to the fence, and touch a foot in his yard.  He is not friendly like that.  Then there is the pesky cat that lives down the street, or Mr. Fox that we saw the other night, or perchance Mr. Skunk that we smelled somewhere near.  Thankfully Tanner did not charge the latter two, I am not sure what would have happened.  This is hands down my favorite, favorite time of the year.  The colors, smells, cool bite of the wind. 
Gotta run, one of my little ones just bounced into the room.  It won't be long before the demands of the day encroaches on our snuggle time. 

Friday, September 14, 2012

Focus

Lisa-Jo Baker's Five Minute Friday

Start.

Focus.

I have often times said that I have the attention span of a fruit fly. I flit around from thing to thing and then hover over what interests me, while usually eyeing thirty other things I need to get done. It is not an issue in terms of I have attention deficit disorder, but instead it is an I have three children, I homeschool and try to keep a house running type thing. There is always a million things to do, but never a million minutes to do them in.

Sometimes late at night when I am fall into bed, right before the exhaustion takes over I think. I think about my children and if I have spoken their love language to them that day. Because even though their Daddy and I are crazy about them and love them more than any other earthly thing, if they do not know it, then it doesn't matter how we feel. The importance of parenting children is not just in how you feel towards them, but in how you communicate your love and compassion to them. If they do not get it, then it has all been for nothing.

Sometimes late at night when my thought drifts through the day my heart hurts. I was trying to get dinner ready, settle little one at the table with a craft to keep her from climbing and jumping off of stuff, I was wiping up the mess forgotten from snack and someone came to me. In tears. With something that broke their heart. As an adult it would not have even ruffled my feathers because I have a different perspective on life now at almost 36 than they do at their age. I lay there, tired to the bone, wishing I could go back five hours and give myself a good, swift kick in the rear to sit down for five minutes and give that child my focus. To draw them close and focus all that I am on them. Even just five minutes would have been better than the scattered crumbs of myself I offered.

Or how I reached for that book instead of my Bible in the DEAR time yesterday (drop everything and read time). Or how I rushed around while my sweet husband was home for lunch instead of just plopping down and enjoying his presence and my children's crazy enthusiasm that their Daddy was here.

When the day is done it can all be summed up in what did I give 100 percent of focus to? Usually there is very little that I can say I gave all that I had in that very moment to that one thing, instead it is well I was able to keep top number 3, 5, 10, and 25 spinning. But the racket you heard? That was all the rest crashing to the ground.

Focus. It is going to be my word that steers the ship of my year I do believe.

Stop.

Monday, September 10, 2012

some days

are long and hard.

There are more tears than giggles.

There is more to do than there is time to get it done.

I go to the rest room, not because I need to use it, but just so I can find five minutes where I can have a quick cry and I can pray.

Then God answers.

And He leads me to the words someone else wrote and those words remind me of what is important.

And although the day is still rough, it does not feel impossible.

In case any of you Mommas are having that kind of day, here are two links I highly recommend.

Finding Joy and Ten Things Moms Need to Remember

And one of my favorite homeschool Momma Blogs Joyful Always

Friday, September 7, 2012

Graceful

Lisa-Jo Baker Five Minute Friday

Start.

Graceful.

I have read quite a bit this past week about comparing ourselves with others. How detrimental it is to our emotional and mental well being. This morning as I sat down here with my coffee mug I reflected on the thoughts of others as well as how this very thing has played out in my life.

Whether it was taking the stage and my mind replaying the girl who had performed right before me or worrying about who would follow me and how I compared to them, it ate away at me. I shyed away from being everything I could be as a ballerina because I was so worried it wouldn't measure up. It crippled me. Now, ten years later (since I last performed) I sit here and the regret is suffocating. I had SO much more in me to give, I just held it back because I reasoned that it wouldn't be like hers (and the her was different almost every time).

I caught myself doing it this last week when I went out for a run. "His pace is so good and strong and methodic, she looks so effortless and light when she runs, they are sweating a ton so they must have run miles." My mile and a half didn't seem so great then. How crazy is that? Who cares? Who cares if someone else runs faster, lighter, longer?

God showers us each with grace to do what we do and to carry us through what we cannot do. We are all graceful. We are all full of His grace. But it is tailor made. It fits who we are, meets us where we are, and carries us to where we are going. Our grace will not look like anybody elses. So why waste the time comparing ourselves with someone else?

Stop.