Sunday, December 30, 2012

what we have been up to...a bit of a random post

The evening of December 14th my husband arrived home from a business trip.  Sick.  Miserably sick.  What unfolded from there was the worst cold/stomach bug/flu - whatever it was it was H.O.R.R.I.B.L.E.  It moved through all five of us.  Even our dog got sick and threw up.  It was terrible.  We did not really get out of bed for more than a few minutes at a time until the afternoon of December 25th.  We all had flu shots in early November, so I am not sure if this was the flu or not, but whatever it was I do NOT ever want to do that again. 

This past year has been weird, we never really found our rhythm.  It has been full of doctor appointments, packing, moving, and unpacking, sicknesses, long hard days...there have been bright spots nestled in there, but over all if I had to use one word to sum up 2012 I would say chaos.  Knowing that, having lived it, makes me desperate to find a workable routine, a calmness that is missing right now. 

Lately my heart has missed dancing.  More deeply than ever before.  When I was shaken up, when I had no words to pray, when I didn't even know what to ask for or work towards I would pour my heart and soul into ballet.  My body would speak when words failed me.  When something has been such a large part of you for more of your life than not, you can feel unhinged when that chapter closes.  The lines, the movement, the music - all of it together is just such a beautiful art form.  So this week I pulled on my socks and stood in our kitchen and did tendus and plies.  For just a moment all felt right and settled and complete.  I realized in that moment that I needed to give myself class everyday.  I will probably never step on a stage again, may never pad my toes and squeeze them into a pair of pointe shoes, but I am not done dancing.  For as long as my body will sink into a plie, stretch forward into a port de bras...then there is no reason not to.

Before we got sick, my children and I left off right in the middle of "Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh".   I am going to go gather them together on the couch and snuggle them close while we read a few more chapters.  I have a yummy coffee from our local barista: cinnamon hazelnut with plenty of cream, a smidgen of sugar, and a liberal sprinkling of cinnamon.  The perfect cuppa for reading aloud.  Except mine is coffee not tea :).

I hope you all have a lovely day.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

In quietness.

I ache to write, but am at a loss as to what to say.

So in quietness I sit here this morning.

And ponder Him.

Expectantly, joyfully, and quietly think of Who He is and what He has done, is doing, and will do.

Friday, December 14, 2012


So incredibly sad and heartbroken over the tragedy in Connecticut.  May God hold those who are hurting close, may He heal their broken hearts, may He comfort them in the midst of their grief. 

Book Review

I just finished reading How To Really Love Your Child by D. Ross Campbell and OH.MY.  I am not sure if it just the age I am, the stage in life in parenting, or the day to day demands of life constantly nipping at my heels, but this book is such a good swift kick in the pants.  I highly recommend this book to anyone who wonders if you are loving your child in a way that they get.  I mean as a parent you have all of this love bundled up for this child or these children and then you sit back and wonder am I expressing it or speaking it in a way that they get?  Do they grasp it?  Is it a lifeline for them?  Do they feel secure in it?  Secure enough to act their worst and STILL know that it is there for them to lean back in?  If you are anything like me, these questions have kept you up at night.  This dialogue especially runs through my mind at the end of one of those long know the ones where there is just not enough chocolate or coffee?  Well this book gave me some great tools, some encouragement, and some frank honesty.  I saw areas in which I am doing the right thing, but I also saw many areas that I am dropping the ball.  Never easy to see or admit to, but completely necessary.  I am so thankful that there are many great parenting books out there, so that we can continue to learn and grow.  Well, I hope this weekend finds you curled up with a great read, a cup of hot comfort, and a lot of peace-filled moments to tuck away for memories in years to come!

P.S. I got this book for free on Kindle, I am not sure but I think it may still be free.  You do not have to own an actual Kindle, you can put a Kindle reader on most things (my husband put it on my computer, but I am pretty sure you can put it on your I-phone, I-pad etc;). 

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

This Next Year

I have come up with an idea for my blog.

I will still be doing Five Minute Friday writing exercises but this next year I am going to add Wordless Wednesday – it will be a picture, a view of our day, something that show a view of our day without using words :). Wordless Wednesday is not my idea, it has been around a long time, I am not sure who originally started it, but I like the thought of trying to capture something, a book cover, a leaf outside, an insect…something that my children will be able to look back on and go I REMEMBER that J.  I know there will be some weeks I will not be able to stick to this, but for now this is my goal for 2013 for my blog.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012


I am dressed in my cozy penguin pajama pants, sipping hot coffee with a dollop of cool whip on top, eating oatmeal with honey and almonds.  I look around and I see piles and piles of stuff I need to do today.  *sigh*  I am determined that today, December the 11th, 2012 will be the BEST!  After all we will not be having another December 11th for a whole year!  Have a happy, joy-filled, peace saturated Tuesday!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

taking for granted the time

I think one of the greatest challenges of homeschooling is learning not to take the days for granted.  Sometimes it can become routine - so much so - that I run the risk of not living each day to the fullest, thinking that we can get to that tomorrow.  Mostly the "that" I am thinking of is the fun extra.  We have so much to cover and with three (yes I know some of the bigger families are rolling their eyes at me right now :) ) but with three in different grade levels, well the last thing I want to do at three or four o'clock in the afternoon is a tea time and poetry, or to build a quilt tent in the living room so we can read aloud under it, or to light a candle and make some hot cocoa for that last math page or that last read aloud.  At that point I 

But as I sit here in the very early morning quiet of my house I realize how quickly they are growing up.  They won't always want to build that quilt tent, they won't always think hot cocoa is the best.thing.ever.  They won't always be so young.  Just since last year their growth has been astounding.  I cannot lose the magic of everyday under the weight of responsibilities to get done.  So today I write this post to remind me to enjoy them.  To slow down.  To breathe in the moment and exhale with joy.  These days won't last forever, why not drink deeply, so deeply that I savor it until the very last drop?

Sunday, December 2, 2012

If I could just grasp this

Like really let it settle into me, deep, deep into me. 

Annie Dillard :  "How we live our days, of course, is how we live our lives"