Friday, May 31, 2013

Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday

Start.

Imagine.

Imagine what that first word is going to sound like.

Imagine what that first breath of forever will feel like.

Imagine what His touch will feel like.

Imagine what His voice will sound like as it rolls over you in waves. 

Imagine what it will be like to have Him speak and all else is silenced.  All of that fear you've packed around and carried for years.  All of the regrets just dropping off of you like rain drops being flung by a windshield wiper.  All of the suffering you have seen, heard about, thought about, worried about...gone.  In the blink of an eye it is all gone.  Imagine what perfection looks like, feels like, sounds like, tastes like, smells like.  Imagine the beauty that will engulf us each moment of every day.

Imagine that.

Hold to that.

*This is what we have to look forward to! 

Stop.

*Heaven being even more than we can imagine, so even better than our best thoughts.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

a gift

This morning I unwrapped a gorgeous gift.  I signed up some years ago to get this blogger's posts in my inbox (Lanier's Books) and have savored each and every one that has popped up.  Kinda like that piece of rich chocolate that is so good you have no choice but to close your eyes in blissful surrender as it melts and covers every single inch of your tastebuds with such an explosion of wonder and yummy goodness.  When she writes, it inspires me to be more, grasp for more, ask more of myself.  It makes me look to God and see the wonder and the beauty of His creation that surrounds me.  It takes me deeper into His purpose for my life, it inspires me with a passion and wonder that I am ashamed for all of the days that I do only what I need to do to survive the day, to exist. 

I cannot wait until her first book comes, I have no idea if she will ever write one, but it would be amazingly awesome if she did.  If you have never stopped by her blog, that I encourage you to please go read today's post.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Hello Mornings!

Well the past month is a blur.  It has been hard, unrelenting, and at times overwhelming.  But today, today is a new day, a day that God created.  I hear the birds singing gloriously in our backyard, see the golden rays of a fresh new sun bathe the green leaves in a iridescence shimmering with promise, and taste the warm, smooth brew of my coffee each sip I take.

This morning I am reading a short book by R.C. Sproul.  There are several for free on Kindle right now.  This quote caught my attention so I made a post-it note and would attempt to keep it before my eyes today.

"You have to live not by your feelings, but by His truth."  R.C. Sproul

So today, today I will seek to live not by my feelings, but by His truth.  I feel overwhelmed, His truth says that He is my shield, my strength.  I feel like this journey is too hard, He says He made this day, He created this path, He will guide me and direct me.  I don't understand why something happens or what caused it to go wrong, He reminds me to trust Him with all of my heart and to not lean on my own understanding. 

Hello Mornings!  What a gift it is to be at home today and not in another hospital room, pacing, waiting for test results or doctors to round.  But here, at my table, with His Word at my finger tips, His presence surrounding me, His gifts overflowing.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

challenged

Life has been hard for us since 2013 dawned, it is not my story to tell, but most days leave us with more questions than answers.  The hunt for beauty, the declaration of joy, the words to pour out thankfulness are sparse.  I know that I am supposed to be thankful in all things, but the actual doing of that seems impossible.  It seems impossible to be thankful when you see someone you love more than life itself struggling and there is nothing you can do to fix it.  To be thankful even when I and others have prayed for God to just show up mightily, and as of yet He has only show Himself in quiet ways, enough to let me know that He is here with me through the darkest of days, but as of yet He has chosen not to obliterate the dark days altogether.  To be thankful even when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He holds the answers and could give them right now, could reveal and heal the problem, and as of yet, in all of His wisdom, in all of His glory, and in all of His goodness He has chosen not to do that.

The battle to accept where I am, where my family finds themselves right now, especially when it is so very far from where we want to be...I am not sure how exactly to dress that neatly in words. 

In this struggle though some truth has become solid and unbending, enough so to anchor my thoughts in...

First truth:

No matter what we go through, no matter how good or how bad things get, He is with us.  He may not show up with all of the fanfare that we had hoped, but He is there. 

It is the resting in His presence, not His action that challenges me.


Second truth is this :

He is my comfort, but that isn't always comfortable.

Growing up and even into my early married days I thought that if I believed enough, spoke His Word over a circumstance enough, and prayed enough that God would change things so I could be comfortable, secure, and happy.  It never really occurred to me that He was more interested in molding me into what He wants me to be than He is in how comfortable I am along the way. 

With each truth that I have clung to, in each way that He has revealed Himself to me, I have more clearly seen where my challenge to walk with Him lies.  I am not the same person I was this time last year, yet I am not the person I still hope to be. 

It has taken me over an hour to write this post...I started and stopped, deleted all that I had typed only to rewrite something else entirely.  In that time, the grey of dawn has stretched across our front window, pushing back the darkness that clung to every corner when I first padded into the kitchen this morning to fix my coffee.  I know what sits across the street, I see it multiple times a day, so much so that I can close my eyes and see it, in great detail, even now, when shadows still cling to cars and trees alike.  I am again reminded just because you cannot see something, does not mean it doesn't exist.  Some day the darkness will be rolled back and the beautiful dawn will stretch forth and nothing will impede our view of the One we have hoped for, the One that we have waited for.