You have no idea when you get first set eyes on that fluffy, furry, wriggling mass of puff that this is going to be one of the best friends you will ever have.
But they end up being a better friend than most humans.
No one tells you that you will love this little guy so much that when he hurts, you hurt. No one explains the chances of disease, seizures, neurological struggles, old age, the loss of function and requirement of care and attention they might need.
No one tells you when you first look in their eyes that you will most likely outlive them, and that you will be responsible for their end of life care. No one tells you that someday you might have to make a really, really difficult decision to let them go and end their suffering.
No one does.
But they should.
I have always loved dogs. From my earliest memories - dogs were all that and a bag of chips to me. I wanted to have a dog by my side in every stage of my life. We had dogs my whole life (growing up) and then my husband and I have owned dogs pretty much our entire married life and in the raising of our girls. But just in the past year have I experienced the awfulness of euthanasia, the heart rending discussions that lead up to the trauma of that final goodbye. We had to put down Arendale last October and now, this week, we are going to have to say goodbye to Tanner, our 17 year old dog.
I cannot even begin to describe the surprising level of grief I've experienced over the past year for Arendale. He was a constant companion to me, and that loss was something I was not prepared for. Tanner is a different kind of loss, in that he is 17 years old (not 4 like Arendale was), he has lived a long life, so I should on some level be prepared to say goodbye. But I am not. He has been the kind of dog that is so laid back and has just kept going no matter what came our way, that I guess I sort of started believing he would just always be here. On some level, I don't remember a time when he wasn't a part of our family, yet the day we got him fifteen years ago is so crystal clear, it is as if it happened last week. I took my then 4 year old, 2 year old, and 6 week old to our local pound. We prayed right before we went in and then my 4 year old spotted him. He sat quietly, sadly in between a mass of barking and wriggling dogs, older than the puppy we went for (they had already sold her), but in that moment, we knew, he was waiting for us.
Tanner has been so faithful, so gentle, so laid back. He was more than likely two and a half years old when we got him (they were not exactly sure of his age), so that makes him at least 17 years old. But he is so tired and has some sort of neurological complication, not just from his fall in May, but something that has progressed to the point that this past week he re-lost all the movement in his back end that he had re-gained, he has lost the ability to sit up, and he can no longer control his bowels and bladder. He is so very tired. I had prayed and hoped he would just pass on his own, because after Arendale, I did not EVER want to make this decision again.
But it is time. He is ready. I am not ready to say goodbye, but he is ready. Please pray for us, and especially for my youngest daughter. This dog and her have been two peas in a pod - this loss is going to be hard on all of us, but especially so on her.
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