B90 Week Ten

 Soooo tomorrow will be day 70 of the plan - which means we have twenty more days to go.  This time through it struck me the extent God went to in warning Israel and Judah.  Not to mention how much Ezekiel was called to surrender in obedience to God.  It blows my mind.  He laid on one side for 390 days - straight.  He lost his wife and was called to not mourn and she was the delight of his eyes.  He was called to be a watchman for Israel - how appropriate, right?  I just googled to see what the name Ezekiel means - it means God's strength - his life proclaims this so beautifully.  

  There were so many passages that I loved in this week's readings, like in Ezekiel 18 - when God says that each person stands and lives or falls and dies according to their own choices (not the choices of their child or parents), vs 20 "The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against them", or when God asks in vs. 23, "Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked?  declares the Sovereign LORD, "Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live?"  or the powerful call to repentance in vs 30-32 - "Repent!  Turn away from all of your offenses; then sin will not be your downfall.  (anyone else think of Cain here?  Where God warned him to take action coupled with the warning that sin desired to be master over him, but that he MUST conquer it...and then what happened when Cain did not obey?)  Ezekiel  continues, "Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit."  And then the anguish of this question "Why will you die, people of Israel?  For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone", declares the Sovereign LORD, "Repent and live!"  

  Repent and live.  Turn from your sin.  Turn now, while it is today - seek the LORD while He may be found.  Isaiah 55:6

Bible in 90 Days Week Nine

 Today is day 62 of 90, so we are officially in the home stretch 😊.  Isaiah and Jeremiah are such good books, but thick with warnings that feel particularly poignant for present day.  So many thoughts and emotions tumbled through my heart as I read.  I wonder - for example - when Zedekiah stood - bound - watching his officials and his sons slaughtered - did his mind return to the conversations held in private when Jeremiah warned him?  Did the regret just absolutely suffocate his heart?  

  Over and over and over again, in Jeremiah and Isaiah, God warned and called His people to repentance.  They scoffed, after all the majority of their priests and prophets prophesied peace and prosperity.  The people would not return.  They would not choose God - they chose anything and everything else, but they would not choose Him.  Are you being called to turn from something?  Have you hardened your heart?  Pray and ask God to give you eyes to see and ears to hear and return to Him.  I am asking these very same things of myself.  And when I do sins will pop into my mind and even after pouring over this scripture - you know what the first inclination of my heart is?  To excuse it, reason it away.  But, I am not called to excuses or shallow reasoning, instead I am to confess my sins, turn to Jesus and flee from evil desires and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace.  1 John 1:9, Acts 3:19, 2 Timothy 2:20-23.  Am I coddling myself, offering soothing platitudes that will lead me astray?  I don't want to be one of those women, the one who shows up to Bible studies and church services and reads all the great books, but who is shallow and hypocritical.  I don't want to share Jesus with others but miss Him myself.  I want to run this race to win.  1 Corinthians 9:24-27

  I want to leave this post with one final question that I want to ask myself everyday:

Jeremiah 30 vs 21b 'for who is he who will devote himself to be close to Me?"  declares the LORD.

 

  

YIPPEE

 Our hard drive came back on line last night.  PRAISE GOD PRAISE GOD PRAISE GOD.  I am SO incredibly thankful.  YIPPEE!!

  We wrapped up Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm late yesterday and OH MY how I love this book.  I longed for more after the narrator spoke the last word...the Rebecca's and Anne's, as well as the Emily's and March sisters of the world - they are the most enchanting of characters, making my heart long for their company.  Whether I am skipping through the garden, climbing the mountain, or taking a buggy ride down the 'white way of delight' - Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, Anne of Green Gables, Emily of New Moon, Little Women, The Secret Garden, and Heidi...these books make the best of friends and if you have not read them (or read them in a while) I encourage you - make time to!!

  I am still plugging along in Bible in 90 days - which means, I need to log off of here and go read some more before we break for lunch in a bit.  Happiest of summer afternoons to you 💖

B90 Week Eight

 This past week, for me, was a flurry of reading and listening and trying to catch up.  I skipped ahead to where I was supposed to be, and then interspersed what I had not read as I had pockets of time throughout the day.  What resulted was confirmation that I am not really one of those people that does the "mixed" plans too well - reading a few chapters from multiple books of the Bible, because when I get done I think a verse I liked was in Isaiah, but it was actually Proverbs 😕.  

  This morning one of my girls and I went to church and heard the most amazing sermon.  It was SO SO encouraging.  It was about what would you ask God - if you could ask Him anything - what would it be...then he proceeded to give the congregation a list of questions that he suggests we ask - for fervency back in our souls, for faith back in our Savior, for fault back in ourselves (how many times do I blame someone or something else?), for faithfulness back in our service...but the one that convicted me the most is:  would I be able to preach (or teach) from the overflow - do I have enough knowledge from being in God's Word - that it overflows and I can teach from that overflow?  

  This past week I finished Psalms, read Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and am in Isaiah - hoping to finish it today.  I find so many passages that I want to go back and study in depth - to sink down in to - to meditate on.  So, I will leave one such passage from Isaiah - 

"In that day the Branch of the LORD will be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of the land will be the pride and glory of the survivors in Israel.  Those who are left in Zion, who remain in Jerusalem, will be called holy, all who are recorded among the living in Jerusalem.  The Lord will wash away the filth of the women of Zion; He will cleanse the bloodstains from Jerusalem by a Spirit of judgment and a Spirit of fire.  Then the LORD will create over all of Mount Zion and over those who assemble there a cloud of smoke by day and a glow of flaming fire by night; over everything the glory will be a canopy.  It will be a shelter and shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place form the storm and rain."  Isaiah 4:2-6

  I love that - the promise of what is to come.  I love His Word.  I love the beauty and comfort - the challenge and correction - His Word is just so beautifully perfect.  

Sooo....

 This week my husband had a birthday 🎂🎈!!!  I have spent this week cramming a LOT of reading and listening into any free moment I can find so that I can narrow the gap of where I was to where I should be in my B90.  I have also spent time outside working hard in the mornings before it gets too hot trying to tame our jungle.  It seems like with the crazy winter weather we had that everything had an extra dose of ambition to grow stronger, faster, longer this summer.  

  I met a good friend for coffee last night.  I absolutely love getting together with her 💝.  She is one of those people you just pick back up where you last left off and just enjoy their presence so very much.  My husband held down the fort while I was gone and it was such a sweet time.

  Our dog Tanner developed an infection in his privacy area.  I don't want to go in to too much detail, because well let's face it, those kinds of things are uncomfortable and no one wants to hear about it, much less talk about it.  But we got some meds and I 'think' he is on the mend?  He is 17 and partially paralyzed...so it's kind of hard to tell one problem from another at this point.

  I got a new book in the mail yesterday - it is called Journal Me Organized by Rebecca Spooner.  I love bullet journaling and I love doodling, so I have high hopes that this book is going to somehow motivate me to accomplish my goals.  Which speaking of goals, I will be 45 this year and I was reading over my goal list recently and realized I have had the SAME goals for the past five years and that REALLY, really, REALLY discouraged me.  The days seem to zip by and then when I look back, I realize - wow those days added up to weeks, months, and then years and I am not where I thought I would be personally and that is so discouraging.  Granted, I do have a lot on my plate - special needs teens, pets that require(d) a lot of care, homeschooling, appointments (the appointments alone are SO time consuming)...that I just seem to cut corners where I can and that has meant cutting corners in my personal growth.  BUT I am also TERRIBLE at time management.  So I want to work on that area to find pockets of time (iPhone/Instagram/texting/news scrolling) to work on my goals.  How about you - where are you most tempted to waste time?

  Well, I am wishing you the loveliest of weekends & a productive Friday 💟

B90 week seven

*I am just going to post the email I wrote, instead of rewriting a blog post about what I (didn't) read this week.

Sooo, this week has been a loooong week in my house.  It started off with us discovering that a hard drive failed.  My husband works in IT and had protections in place...but long story short - something went wrong and now we might have lost everything.  All pictures (from the time my girls were babies until recently), all medical documentation, all homeschool stuff I have saved and used over the years, two books I wrote...in short, everything.  Devastating is the word I would use to sum this up.  The next step is a hard drive recovery program/service - we have to purchase it, but it might be able to restore/recover what we have lost.  This is on top of the chronic medical struggles that we have, which this week was especially bumpy in this area, honestly sometimes it feels like life is too heavy, too hard.  

I share all of this with you, not so you will feel sorry for me/us.  I share this with you to confess that instead of digging in to the Word this week, I have avoided it.  Which does not make sense especially since the bulk of this week was spent in Psalms - the very place that would have lifted me out of my discouragement and encouraged me to keep on, keep trusting that God has the next step planned for.  I am REALLY behind (like five days?).  So, if this describes you - just know you are not alone.  And know that it is ok to begin again (and again and again and again), because that is the story of God, isn't it?  The grace and mercy He extends in His Son Jesus Christ to lift us out of the muck and mire of daily life, this is why we do things like Bible in 90 Days.  Not to perfectly execute a checklist, but to renew our minds and our hearts with His truth.

Tomorrow *Sunday July 11th* should find us on day 49, which means we have only five(ish) weeks left in this plan.  Let's pick back up, reorient ourselves, and dig back in and finish strong.  I am praying for you guys - hoping you have a beautiful weekend.  

On Losing Memories

 Sooo, we had a hard-drive back-up that failed and even with protections in place we might have lost everything.  Like all pictures, all homeschool stuff, all medical documentation that I have, two books I have written...devastating is the word I would use to sum up this potential loss.  I spent most of Sunday morning crying, from frustration over lack of friendships, community, and church to losing irreplaceable pictures, documentation, notes...it just seems sometimes as if life is harder than it needs to be.  

This loss drove home the truth that all we have here is temporary.  Health, status, friends, finances, memories, experiences - even if you have spent decades accumulating it, even if you put protections in place to prevent losses like this (or fire, or illness, or floods...) you ultimately cannot hold on to anything forever.  

I am spending the week working through 'homeschool bootcamp' from Not Consumed ministries.  I am really enjoying it; even after all these years of homeschooling, even after the experience and time spent...every year is literally a new beginning.  As we aim to finish well, or to build a bridge to continuing education, our goals change, our roles as the teacher/mom change.  We become more of a mentor, seeking to inspire their hearts, rather than simply leading the way.  The change is bittersweet, a mix of sadness over how quickly the years flew and unspeakable joy to see where God is taking them next.  

I am behind on B90.  Like five days behind.  This has been a hard week for me and I feel very discouraged on many fronts.  Which means, I should be eager to dig in to the Bible (especially since the bulk of this week's reading is in Psalms) but I have felt the opposite.  Today, I am determined to set aside time to get caught up.  I know I will feel better, I just have to do the hardest part - take the first step.  I am also covered in mosquito bites after working outside yesterday (I had lavender oil on, but I guess those little miscreants found the spots that I missed).  I took benadryl yesterday and still feel itchy 😒 and now leftover tired.  I hate that leftover tired (hungover actually) benadryl feel.  

Well, I am polishing off my second cup of coffee, so now I guess I am ready to tackle the to-do list, wishing you each a beautiful Thursday morning 💖

Bible in 90 Days week SIX :)

 Ezra 7:10 (NKJV) 

For Ezra had prepared his heart to seek the Law of the LORD, and to do it, and to teach statutes and ordinances in Israel.

I want to live an Ezra life - I want to prepare my heart to seek the Word of God - and not just to seek it - but to obey it and teach it.

Today is day 41 of 90 (almost half-way there!!)  I am a bit behind, so I am off to read some more.  I wanted to wish you a lovely Saturday and happy fourth of July weekend 🎇🎆🎇!