Friday, March 30, 2012

every good and perfect gift is from His hand

Five Minute Fridays by Gypsy Mama


The moments that I allow myself to stop and take stock, to gaze back and analyze what my life has been what it has meant up until now, those are the moments that I see the good and perfect gifts that He has bestowed.

Some gifts have been light and easy to carry. Days that have dawned bright, clear and beautiful. Those are the gifts that are the most easy to utter thank you as I run through them with joy.

Some gifts have been wrapped with lots of tape that took some time to tear through to get to the good stuff, the enjoyable stuff. Sometimes I squandered those days and didn't even bother to finish ripping open the gift, sometimes, exhausted from the effort of searching for the gift in the moment I forgot the most important part of receiving...saying thank you. The days that ask more of me than I want to give, the days that are exhausting and long with little to show for it at the end of them, these are the days that I am tempted to stop searching and to forget to say thank you.

Then there are those gifts that you can only receive on your knees. The tears come, my heart questions 'is this truly good?' 'is this gift truly perfect?' These are the gifts that I miss. I don't see them for what they are. Sometimes it takes years to see them for what they are. These are the gifts that are a hard thank you. Mostly that thank you is uttered in complete faith that the Creator of the heavens and the earth sees me, knows me, loves me and He is THE MOST HIGH GOD and NOTHING is too hard for Him. He hears the prayers for deliverance, for comfort and He gives what He deems is perfect and in Adonai with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Sometimes it is ok to say thank you and not understand.


Friday, March 23, 2012

as a parent

Five Minute Friday Gypsy Mama (Loud) -

start :

you will want quiet and they will be loud

you will need them to listen and they will want to talk

you will be exhausted and they will be wild

you will be serious and they will be silly

you will prepare a dinner and they will not be hungry...until you clean up the very last dish

your heart thought it knew what love was but then they took their first breath

you thought you knew how to pray until they run their first fever

you thought your time was your own until you brought them home from the hospital for the first time

you thought life was good until you realized they make it awesome

you thought you loved your husband until you see him hold them for the first time

you thought you knew that God had blessed you richly until you sit around the dinner table and see their beautiful happy faces looking back at you

as a parent you learn to live a life of love out loud and over the top and it is amazing


Thursday, March 22, 2012

Dear Sunshine,

Hey there. How are things going? How are you doing on your goals of losing weight, running and getting up every morning with the intention of clothing yourself in kindness, compassion, humility, gentleness, and patience? Are you enjoying your children and your husband? Are the words you are speaking - are they words that will encourage? Inspire? Could be repeated in front of anyone with the exact posture and tone that you are using at this moment? I just wanted to remind you to choose joy and to work hard. To enjoy these days and to live them fully - the full width and length of each minute giving thanks for everything. Because each moment is a precious gift. Have a great day and whatever else you do or don't get done today, please remember to pray constantly. About every single thing. Do not let one thing worry you, pray it all out.

Your friend,

I have a journal I started recently where I write myself a letter. I don't know about anyone else, but I really, really struggle with getting so busy that I forget what is important. So at night before I go to bed I write myself a letter to read the next morning before my day starts (and if I am really struggling, many times through out the day). At the end of the day I take just a minute or two to jot down my answers to the questions I asked myself. It keeps me accountable and on track.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

deep breath

Stepping outside with Tanner at the end of a long day, I sink to the grass, breathe deep of the spring air and listen closely to the beauty exploding from every tree top surrounding us. I messed up the medicine schedule which means rough days are coming, why can I not seem to effortlessly balance all that I have to do? Why am I always the one running behind, a complete mess everywhere I have been, boxes still to be sorted and unpacked and so much to do that I could really just sit and cry over it all. But as I look around me and feel that fuzzy, cool, wet nose press against my arm I realize it will be ok. That I need to slow down and remember to take my time, that each day is not a race to the end, because some day, these days that I am racing around trying to get everything done in, someday all I will have left are the memories. Our children will be grown with families of their own and these will have been one of the greatest earthly treasures that I have held with my own hands. I do not want to rush through it all or waste a moment. Tanner, now having climbed almost completely in my lap, sits in total blissful surrender as I hold him close and stroke his soft fur. I sit for a few more minutes, completely trying to soak in all that I am hearing and seeing and then rise to enter the house again. As I wash my hands and head towards the kitchen I stop and draw in a deep breath. There is so much love and happiness pouring out of my children at that exact moment, dressing up in my old dance costumes and having a tea party with trucks and dinosaurs mixed in, this is life and it is messy beautiful.

Friday, March 16, 2012

God please make me brave enough...

Five Minute Fridays from Gypsy Mama

Start :

I want to be brave.

Brave enough to be humble.

Brave enough to chase my dreams.

I dream of being a great Momma and an amazing wife.

I dream of running miles in double digits.

I dream of losing the baby weight and being strong and healthy.

I dream of writing words that bless others.

I want to be brave enough to be on knees in prayer.

I want to be brave enough to cling to His Word even when everything around me seems to point to it not being trustworthy.

I want to be brave enough to forgive and to say I am sorry.

I want to be brave enough to keep a pure heart.

I want to be brave enough to be gentle and speak kind words.

I want to be brave enough to love wildly and deeply.

I want to be brave enough to choose to feed someone hungry hundreds of thousands of miles away when the local Starbucks is just a few blocks away (give or take).

God, please make me brave enough.


Thursday, March 15, 2012

This is achingly beautiful....

Ann Voskamp is one my favorite authors and bloggers, hands down. Her ability to pour out her heart and her life in words - it is SO incredibly beautiful. But this post, is achingly beautiful and if you are a parent I encourage you to read it!

life as of late...

I am sitting here eating M&M pretzel bites and drinking my first cup of coffee, we are getting a late start today because I had an 8am appt.

My husband got home safe & sound YIPPEE

I read Hunger Games, started it late yesterday afternoon and finished it this morning while waiting at said appt.

I have been grumpy and cross recently, which kept me up thinking of ways that I could work on that and really make an extra effort to be the mom and wife my husband and children need me to be.

I have a LOT to do today, so off I go...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Ideas for a story

Light shimmering and shining cascaded through the open window, seeking to spill into every available space . Slowly the occupants, still drowsy from their nights' respite stretched and woke one by one. It had been a late night and today lay before them much sooner than their tired bodies were ready to face. The meager meal they had eaten before falling into bed was long gone and their tummies ached to be filled. The young children...

Friday, March 9, 2012


Five Minute Fridays from Gypsy Mama :)


Rooms once bursting to the seams with toys, books, laughter and sometimes tears now sit empty. I imagine eagerly awaiting their new occupants. Will the people who move in love and live the moments to the fullest? Will the walls hang art work and collect beauty? Will they roll over in the spring and lie quietly for just a moment to hear that gorgeous red cardinal perched at the top of the tallest tree that lines the very back of the yard? He seems to come every year. In the summer quiet will they hear the lowing of the cattle and the droning of the insects journeying to and fro? In the fall coolness will they gaze in wonder at the trees? In the crispness of winter will they walk outside one night and their breath catch at the beautiful starry night?

As I walk from one bedroom to the next, down the hallway into the kitchen remembering this and that my heart tugs just a bit at the empty space. It is too quiet. It beckons for life to spill forth and once again occupy its corners. I find myself praying. Praying over the people that will pad bare foot down the hall, may their steps bring peace and comfort to those around them. As I glance up at the walls, may the voices that carry and bounce speak words that inspire and encourage. As I make my way into the kitchen and look once more out into our backyard I ask God to richly bless them and may they know He is the giver of all things good.


Sunday, March 4, 2012


I love fall, it is hands down my favorite time of the year. But spring, it brings it own sweet beauty and that incomparable feeling of a fresh start. Today is perhaps one of the most beautiful days. We drove up the driveway and as we piled out of the car I heard the rat, tat, tat sound of a woodpecker and the beautiful melody of a bright red cardinal. I took a deep breath and stood silent for a moment, this is a beautiful day.

Armed with a fresh cup of coffee, a beautiful new quote I saw yesterday and a new week stretched out before me, I am so full of hope and joyful anticipation. I find myself wanting to fall to my knees in humble thankfulness, He has brought us through SO SO much. A year ago this weekend we were sitting in an emergency room of two different hospitals with one of our children. I was scared and sad and felt so very alone. Never in my wildest hopes or dreams would God have brought us here a year later. He is SO faithful and SO good, even when it is hard. Even when it feels hopeless. I look back and I see His hand and His presence, His patience and His mercy etched on each day, the most beautiful of ones, and the most scariest of ones.

Thank you seems hardly enough, but thank you I say. I cannot help but say it. I say it when I wake up, when I look around me, and when I fall asleep. And for those times that I forget, I ask forgiveness and for a fresh perspective of ALL of the blessings that He has bestowed.

Today is a beautiful day.

Friday, March 2, 2012


Five Minute Fridays from Gypsy Mama



The bitter, heavy pit in my stomach tossed and rolled with each thought. I ached from head to toe with regret. Why did I utter those words? And in that way? Why did I make that choice? I cannot capture them back, it would be as useless as trying to scoop the milk once spilt back into the container.

How do I grasp the forgiveness that He offers? What do I do with the guilt? I need His compassion and His mercy to hammer away the bitter parts and to soothe this deep ache. The tears fall. The sobs shake me from head to foot. I can go no where far enough from me and my own thoughts. As I lie there thinking about it all, allowing the days and weeks and months to slowly play themselves out in my thoughts I realize that I need something more than my now drenched pillow and stuffed animal for comfort. My entire household sleeps but I do not. I roll over and grab my Bible. The pages are well worn, some with tear stains as I have fought it out between the pages. Trying to understand and humble myself before His Wisdom. Page after page pass and then finally I stop. Holding my breath I quickly scan the lines until that passage stands out and screams to me. I read it, re-read it. I breathe it in and exhale it out. I ask Him to write it on my inner most parts. This truth, this hope...slowly that deep, gut-wrenching ache subsides and slowly the comfort penetrates.


I am not sure if I am the only one who has regrets that at times seem to just pile up. There are moments that if I would allow it, it would almost choke me. I have grabbed onto this passage with both hands in that moment and slowly He has loosened the hold of regret and ignited the spark of hope deep within me. Psalm 103 is the passage - but specifically verse 8 and verses 11 and 12. Great is His love. He is steadfast and sure. I saw a quote not too long ago that said "I cannot boast of my love for God, for I fail daily. But I can and will boast of His unfailing love for me." Unfortunately I did not note who said that quote, it just stuck with me as I was passing it by.