Thursday, June 28, 2012

I know I said a break, but I had to share this

I wrote a blog post a while ago about Jacob and all that he went through – and I mentioned his son Judah and the “scandal” with Tamar. Well today I noticed something that I have not caught before. Perez was the result of Judah and Tamar’s relationship – one of deception and disappointed hopes –

Perez was mentioned in Ruth 4:12 and I wrote a note ‘Who is Perez?’ when it said this “may your family be like of Perez, whom Tamar bore to Judah”. And then down in verse 18 (same chapter) it says this

This, then, is the family line of Perez:
Perez was the father of Hezron,
Hezron the father of Ram,
Ram the father of Amminadab,
Amminadab the father of Nahshon,
Nahshon the father of Salmon,
Salmon the father of Boaz,
Boaz the father of Obed,
Obed the father of Jesse,
Jesse the father of David.

I am not sure what about this story excites me so very much? Is it the fact that through sin, deception, hurt and loss – God brought redemption and beauty and someone like Boaz – a man of great character and steadfast love? Or is it the continual reminder that no matter how great our sin – God is still greater? His plan cannot be held down because of my own failures? I am not advocating on behalf of sinning, far from it. It is horrible and brings pain and death and hurt and on and on the list goes, much further than any of us can for see/imagine when we step foot on that path. It is just the great hope that my pile of ashes can still be made beautiful. And so can yours. I think that is what excites me SO very much when I read these stories on these pages of real people who lived real lives that were REALLY messy at times. That despite it all God is still God and His plan still stands.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Summer Break

I am going to be taking a summer break from blogging/writing/computer stuff. I (as of right now) plan to start writing again around the first of September, so until then...

Friday, June 22, 2012

B90 day 15

I am SO incredibly frustrated.  I just spent about 45 minutes getting this post ready (well not 45 minutes all together, because I keep having to run and do something or help someone do it was 45 minutes in 5 minute increments) and when I got to the very bottom, I pushed something or typed something and all that was left was the letter C.  I have no idea how to get my post back, I am guessing it is gone.  I am out of time to write it again...but here are the bare essentials.

Deuteronomy is my favorite book of the Bible.  It is so full of beauty and life and wisdom I LOVE to read through it.  Today on day 15 (well I am playing catch up here, today is not really day 15 of reading, it is more like day 20)...but on day 15 three chapter/verses stood out to me above all of the rest.

Deut. 29 verse 28 (vs. 29 in most translations)
Deut. 30 verses 11 - 14
and finally
Deut 32 verse 47

These words that were spoken thousands of years ago, they are not just idle words for us.  They are our life.


Gypsy Mama. Five Minute Friday



I have never been big on risk.

I generally will not take a step forward or sideways or back even until I have analyzed the risk in it. Boring to most, but to me, it was just how I did life from as far back as I can remember. I do not like to feel unsure or scared or the least bit threatened. I do not like to make a fool of myself and I really, really detest rejection. I live cautiously, I danced cautiously and sometimes, as ridiculous as this sounds. I find myself running cautiously.

But then I became a Mom.

Three times over.

Risk became a daily companion.

Recently I have started to realize the need to challenge myself. Step out of my comfort zone. To choose to do one thing every day that has some risk in it. Whether it is to run like Phoebe in Friends (because that is SO much more fun than running cautiously) or if it is to write and allow others to read it, or to love and pour myself out for the three lives that have been entrusted to me, knowing full well no parent can guarantee the outcome, there is a freedom and a vitality that comes with risk. The exhiliration when you throw yourself out there knowing you will either fly or flop is - well there is nothing quite like it. Yes there is the possibility of pain or rejection or even failure, but more than that there is the promise of something bigger than I can imagine or plan out. It is a daily laying of my life in the palm of His hand and trusting that He will give me what I need when I need it, whether it is wings to soar or comfort when I have fallen. And even more so the daily laying of my children in His hand and trusting Him to be what they need when they need it. That moment, that risk of laying it all in His hand and stepping back....


Wednesday, June 20, 2012

B90 Days 13 & 14

I am running behind, but things here at home needed my immediate attention for a few days. Now that things have calmed down somewhat, I am going to play catch up. These are either my all time favorite verses or new ones that I caught this time around. I am using NIV for ease of blogging, but usually I read from or my Complete Jewish Bible by David Stern.

Deuteronomy 5
vs 32 - 33
So be careful to do what the LORD your God has commanded you; do not turn aside to the right or to the left. Walk in all the way that the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.

Deuteronomy 6
vs 4 - 9
Shema Y'israel Adonai Eloheynu Adonai Echad
Hear O Israel. Adonai our God, Adonai is one.
You are to love Adonai our God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, and with all of your strength. These words which I am giving you today are to be upon your heart. You are to teach them diligently to your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you travel upon the road. When you lie down and when you rise up. Tie them on your hand as a sign. Bind them at the front of your forehead on a headband. Write them on your door posts and upon your gates.

NEVER caught this before :
Chapter 18 talks about "The Prophet"
in verse 15 it states
The LORD your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among you own brothers. You must listen to him. For this is what you asked of the LORD your God at Horeb on the day of the assembly when you said, "Let us not hear the voice of the LORD our God nor see this great fire anymore or we will die."

God is so incredible. SO incredible. He pays attention to the smallest of details, keeps His Word and loves SO deeply it is unfathomable. You truly could not sail the sea of His love, even if you spent from now until your dying breath trying.

Sunday, June 17, 2012


As the sun beat down upon our backs, the gravel crunched beneath our feet, we walked, sometimes climbed, and occasionally jogged along the path, over the foot bridges and through the rock lined walkways. The sights were beautiful. Huge towering trees, soft trickling water fountains, plants blooming and vegetables growing. Little lizards crawled here and there over rocks, through plant vegetation, and scampered into the tall grass. A squirrel sat contentedly under a magnolia tree full of beautiful blooms munching on a treasure, the rooster crowed and puffed his chest, the hens had eggs hidden under the small foot stool and tucked away in a hen house. The sounds of cicadas and birds spoke of lazy summer afternoons. The giggles in the distance let us know others had come to see and experience too.
By my favorite part of all?
When you grabbed my hand and gently squeezed before going off to scoop one of our little ones up who was having a hard time keeping the rocks out of her shoes. You are an amazing person and I love you SO very much for it.


Perhaps the most important role model in a child's life is their Daddy. I had no way of knowing when I married my husband that he would have the makings of an amazing Daddy, but it has been incredible to see his journey over the past decade.

He is their staunchest supporter,
the one that makes them giggle,
the one that makes them stop and think.
He is calm and quiet and always sees the best of every situation.
When you are talking to him, he listens in such a way that you feel like you are the most important person in the entire world at that moment.
They cheer when he gets home and cry when he leaves.
And best of all?
He loves their Mommy more than anything and treats her like a queen.

Happy Father's Day Richard. We love you SO SO very much.

Friday, June 15, 2012


Five Minute Fridays Gypsy Mama


On this journey we call life I have chosen a path that was laid out thousands of years ago. The only map I have is the Bible that sits at my right hand on my cluttered kitchen table. It used to be covered in dust because I never cracked it open, then life cracked me wide open and I reached for it like a drowning man reaches for a life raft. It not only kept me afloat and my head above the waters of life, it gave me direction and a spot to aim for. As the years have passed I have held to this path, this direction. True I have wondered and gotten momentarily distracted, but always returned.

So join me? Join me in lying down anything that hinders, and run this path with me, this race? *Run, walk if you need to, crawl if you have to* , climb on a back and accept a piggy back ride even, but NEVER EVER EVER give up.

*adapted from one of my FAVORITE running mantras by Dean Karnazes that says:
Run if you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must, just never give up

Thursday, June 14, 2012

B90 Book of Numbers (days 10,11,&12)

Numbers 15:44 NIV
Nevertheless, in their presumption they went up toward the high hill country, though neither Moses nor the ark of the LORD's covenant moved from the camp. Then the Amalekites and Canaanites who lived in that hill country came down and attacked them and beat them all the way to Hormah. (emphasis mine)


How much heartache I have suffered at the foolish hands of my own presumption. So many times I have been consumed with anger, hurt, and a sense of betrayal, often times completely directed at God, only to realize much to my embarrassment and discomfort it was my own fault. After the tidal wave of emotions calms down and I return to a more rational state of mind, I typically eat LOADS of humble pie because I come face to face with my own folly in basing my actions off of what I thought could, would, or should happen in a given situation. Health, finances, safety, friendships, family relationships, having a dance career, having another baby etc; the list goes on and on and on.

Why do I continually do it?

Well as I read through the book of Numbers, especially in chapter 15, my story often uncomfortably parallels theirs. They doubted God's ability and willingness to meet their needs (or sometimes even just their wants). Instead they complained, whined, and spoke fear filled thoughts aloud, struck out on their own, tried things their ways, ignored the warnings, or presumed that they knew the best way and what that should look like when God did provide. Whether it was food, water, safety, protection - they had an opinion on how and when it should be handled and provided.

Have you ever heard of the old saying "the thing you most complain about in others is often times the very thing that you do the most?" How many times have we griped and complained about our children's whining? Or yelled at them to stop yelling? Or complained about our spouses' lack of respect while chatting over coffee with a friend? Or complain about a breach in relationship while continuing to wreak havoc with our unwillingness to forgive or let go of the past? While reading a story and seeing the ending of it from the beginning it is easy to say "oh my they SO should have just trusted God" . Yet, I will close my Bible, mark off that day's reading square and proceed (before the ink is even dry on the check off sheet) to spend the next fifteen minutes worrying over a bill that needs to be paid, a relationship that needs to be repaired, or a house project that needs to be completed etc;.

God is God.

And while I should never, ever presume to know exactly how He is going to do something or the timing when it will all fall together, I should never, EVER doubt His goodness, ability and willingness to shower me and everyone else with every thing that we need exactly when we need it. Now to walk this out...

(Just a side note, all of my journal entries are written with my own weaknesses and struggles in mind. As much as I try to walk with integrity and faithfulness, I spend more time tripping and falling than I do in actually walking. I debated on whether to journal my way through the Bible, because there is SO very much I do not understand...I am not even sure if we are Christians, Messianic Jews, or how to label what we believe and why we believe it. But then I realized that as of right now my children have no real tangible record of my walking this out, struggling to piece it together, shaping why we parent the way that we do etc; Some day I would like this journal to be their gift. My words on the why of who I am. So that they can take the good things and build off of those and discard the bad and uglies. They will make mistakes, yes because they are human, but what a gift it would be if they could make their own mistakes and learn from mine.)

Tuesday, June 12, 2012


Friendship, the deep abiding friendship between women, has eluded me most of my adult life. I tend not to fit in for various reasons and have never been big on the whole clique scene. It is not for lack of trying, but since we moved here about five or six years ago, it has been an uphill battle to make and keep friends. We moved to a new neighborhood recently and even going for walks and trying to meet people and say hello, even then sometimes it has not gone so well. Sometimes we get a polite nod as they turn and go back inside but sometimes not even that. Some of the people we have met have glared at us or stared back saying nothing, but no one has seemed interested in extending the gift of friendship.

Today was a hard day. I was willing to be vulnerable and reach out to someone only to be rejected. (which in all fairness was probably not at all meant to be taken personally, but still stung) By the time my husband got home I was in tears and felt totally and completely alone. I whispered a prayer that said something to the effect of, "Now would be a REALLY nice time for You to give me that friend that I have been asking for, even just someone to say hi back would be awesome"

After we finished dinner we went for a walk, this time I left our doggie home having walked him a bit earlier and we decided to walk a slightly different route than we do at night time. As we were getting ready to cross the road I heard a few kids excitedly saying "hi, hi, hi" and I smiled because I thought only our kiddos did that :). This mom walks out of her house and was SO incredibly friendly. We stood and chatted for a few minutes - I kept thinking WOW God answered!!!!!!!!!!! Come to find out she is usually putting her kids to bed at this time, but they would just not go to sleep tonight, so she thought a quick walk was in order. We exchanged names and told her where we lived and I don't know for sure, but I think I might have just made a new friend!!!!

B90 Days 8,9 & 10

These three days took us through the Book of Leviticus or the third book of Torah.

I have one question that popped in my mind at the beginning of the reading and it is this :

If God was that serious about obedience when there was only the life/blood of an animal to atone for sins (so serious that there was even provisions for the unitentional sins people would/could commit,) how much more serious is He when the life/blood of His Son has been shed to atone for them?

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Catch Up

Below are snapshots of what has captured my attention while reading. I have tried to pick one verse (sometimes I picked more) and journal my thoughts about it from each day's selection. I have mostly included the verses that highlights what I need to remember.

My faith is so weak. I am prone to wonder and forget and have the attention span of a fruit fly sometimes. So I need LOTS of reminders tacked up. In my calendar, my paper journal, on post-it notes, index cards, scraps of paper and napkins and here on my blog. Whether it is decorated with colored pens or scribbled with pencil, tapped out on a keyboard or with a broken stump of crayon, I jot His words down. His word is my breath, my bread, my life, even when I forget that or ignore it. He tells His story and my story. He tells your story and the person across the streets. The story of humanity and His hand in it is beautifully woven together page after page after page. His words changes people. I want and need His word to change me.

B90 Day 5
Exodus Chapter 9 verse 16 says
But I have raised you up (or spared you) for this very purpose, that I might show you My power and that My name might be proclaimed in all the earth.
(God speaking about why Pharaoh is alive and allowed to rule)

It truly is all about Him. All for Him, by Him and because of Him. Not always easy to live through the hard days knowing this to be true, but I ask myself wouldn't I rather live through the hard days knowing this is true than just to have to live through the hard days? Isn't it better knowing that there is a purpose and a plan and that everything is just not wildly spinning out of control? So easy for me to say this now sitting here at my table (we are in a (mostly) beautiful and easy season right now). The summer sun is streaming in the window behind me, and I am currently listening to the (mostly) happy chatter drifting from where my children are playing. But not so long ago, the days were not so carefree and the moments were hard and it felt too much. Instead of sitting at a table I was on my knees shedding tears for prayers. However I am learning that no matter what is going on around me God remains God and His purpose remains firm. The circumstances do not cause this fact to be true, they simply test it and bring me to the end of myself and shake all of the fluff off of what I believe and makes me dig deeper and listen harder and cling tighter.

B90 Day 6
Exodus 18 vs 20
Teach them the decrees and laws and show them the way to live and the duties they are to perform.

I found this to be a great parenting mission statement. Jethro, Moses' father in law helped him to clarify his purpose and his direction in leading the Israelites. I lose my direction so easily. I try to do it all and be it all and I forget my main purpose is to teach our children who God is, what He says they are to be about and the duties they are to perform each day.

B90 Day 7
Exodus 33 vs 19 & 20 and then 34 vs 5 - 7
Chapter 33 vs 19&20
And the LORD said, "I will cause all of my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But He said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live."

and then He fulfills this in

Chapter 34 vs 5 - 7
Then the LORD came down in the cloud and stood there with him and proclaimed His name, the LORD. And He passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, "The LORD, The LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion, and sin. Yet He does not leave the guilty unpunished; He punishes the children and their children for the sins of the fathers to the third and fourth generation."

I love how He says He will cause all of His goodness to pass in front of Moses and then He does that and He proclaims who He is by sheathing Himself in words.

Admittedly I do not understand the end of verse 7 from chapter 34, the punishment of the father's sins reaching forth and lying on the children's backs unto the third and fourth generation. Except to say that it proves the sentence, "Like father, like son" and is maybe more of a warning for a parent than an accusation for the child. Or to make us think about the consequences of our words and actions or lack of them.  But. my thoughts aside, the end of  verse 7 stumps me.

Friday, June 8, 2012


Five Minute Friday Gypsy Mama

It was a gloriously gorgeous summer morning. Perched on the top of the wrap around porch Jenny swung her legs back and forth and she waited expectantly. Her brother and his best friend were returning from active duty today. Her Dad had gone to pick them up. Knowing this had been their toughest deployment so far, they had all agreed around the dinner table that it would be best if Dad went by himself. The excitement and nervous expectation had hung in the air for the past few days. Jenny could hardly believe the day was finally here.

Clutching the coffee mug a bit closer, nursing the heat into her cool hands her stomach fluttered nervously. She had no idea what to expect. Her mouth ran dry just at the thought of how much her big brother Jake must have changed. Would he be the same guy? The same guy that used to throw water balloons with a near perfect aim? Would he still sit out here with her later in the summer having one of those talks that stretched into the long, hot summer nights? More questions bubbled to the top, but jumping up, Jenny decided to call Katie and see if she was up for a run. Their running sessions were theraputic. They talked and prayed and laughed and ran. Besides their weekly jaunts to the local coffee shop, running with Katie was Jenny's favorite thing to do. Peeling her eyes off of the end of her street, she stood up and made her way inside. She grabbed her phone as she plunked the mug down in the stainless steel sink and rinsed it.


I decided to do something different. I have four characters floating around in my head. Sometimes their stories fill my dreams and most times my free I decided to spill some ink on them here. This is a very rough draft, just getting a feel for how it would unfold.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Running Late

I have got to get a handle on a summer schedule that works for us because right now I feel like a fish flopping on a shore just out of water. I know what we need to get done and I know where I want us to end up but it is the daily journey of one step at a time that is causing problems :(.

I have decided to make this a boot camp summer. Target our weak areas in these categories : academics, relationships and prayer. I am going to come up with a schedule that will hopefully fit us and help bridge that gap of how to get from point a to point b. I want us to arrive in August fresh, relaxed and ready for a new school year…not frustrated, frazzled and bickering all the way. I wish it was as simple as curling up with a cup of coffee and watching Anne of Green Gables (I absolutely LOVE that movie series (and the books too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). *sigh* But I have a feeling that it will take a little more thought and effort on my part than simply watching a great movie :).

Will post a catch up post later today for my Bible in 90 Days. Have a great summery day!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

B90 Day Four

I am running about a day behind in posting about reading through the Bible in 90 days, but with all that we have going on right now, I am not too surprised.

Day four brought me to the end of Genesis and through the captivating story of Joseph. Depending on what is going on at the very moment in my life that I read through his story, different aspects stand out to me and this time was no different. I read straight through from where I left off on day three until Jacob's blessing, stopping briefly to consider the words that Jacob spoke over each of his sons, and then until Joseph himself died. I went back and re-read Jacob's blessing over Joseph and realized for the first time how much Jacob understood about what Joseph went through. It truly was because of God establishing and blessing Joseph that he not only made it through all of that, but that he was blessed in spite of everything else.

I always struggle with knowing that Jacob favored Joseph and what that meant for Joseph and for his siblings. I understand there was SO much baggage before Joseph was even born, but still as a parent of more than one child, it bothers me so much to read about it. Did Jacob realize what he was doing at the time? Did he see hurt and rejection in his other children's eyes when he looked at them? Did he not realize what it did to the sibling relationships, or was he repeating what his father did (favored his brother Esau over him)? I have seen how destructive favoritism can be and it is truly heartbreaking, the damage often times lasting long after the child has grown.

The more I thought about these chapters tonight and my reaction to them, the more that I realized there are literally thousands of opportunities to mess up every day as a parent. My biggest fear is that I will not see my own mistakes until it is too late to repair the damage and the child is grown and living their own life. I pray that every mistake - the ones that I am very aware of and those that I am oblivious to - will be brought to my attention so that I can deal with it daily and not sweep them under the carpet to be blind sided by them later in life. I often tell my husband I know I will be so sad when our children are grown and I pull out the journals and pictures. I don't mind knowing that I might be sad because with any great joy there will be sadness once it is over. I just do not want to regret any of it. I don't want to look back and say "wow I was so busy doing _______ that I completely missed ___________" or "UGH I lost their heart because I got so caught up in trying to change their behavior". I do not want to live with the reality that I squandered the days that I have been given now.

I am working myself out of a job, every parent is. I will not always be the teacher or the authority figure in their life, but I hope that to them I will always be a soft place to land when life gets rough. That they know that their Daddy and I will remain their biggest cheerleaders and that our prayers will surround them long after our arms cannot.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Day Two and Day Three

Day Two
One of my favorite parts is when Abraham's servant goes in search for a wife for Isaac. He prays this prayer to God when he is by the well outside the town. He comes up with an idea for knowing exactly who to pick for Isaac and then it says this :
"Before he was finished praying..." and then God proceeds to fulfill his request down to the detail. I LOVE that part. I often wonder if "O LORD, God of my master Abraham " (vs. 12) now became "O LORD, my God"?

Do I often pray O LORD, God of my friend ____________ or God of my parent/sister/famous author etc;? Or do I pray as if He is my God? Do I pray with an awareness that it is not so much about what I ask of Him but how much I get to know Him, seeing His holiness, His complete knowledge and control over the smallest of details?

Day Three
This day and the story that unfolds is messy. I am so glad (if I put myself in Jacob's shoes) that there is the reassurance of God's promise to Jacob, to not leave him at all until He is done with him. Despite how much he messed up (and there was a lot of mess up) and despite how others struck out and hurt him (and a lot of hurt was contained in these chapters) God never, not once, failed to do and be all that He said He would. From the moment this selection began in chapter 29 until it leaves us in the middle of Joseph's story in chapter 40 Jacob is tricked and ends up marrying two sisters, wrestles with God, faces Esau again, had a daughter raped and then sons that avenged her, had Joseph, lost Joseph, and his son's scandals (one slept with his concubine and another had the scandal with Tamar). So after reading all that and the going back and reading this : "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go and I will bring you back to this land" - I wonder how often Jacob pondered these very thoughts trudging through his darkest nights? How often he hung his head in defeat and uttered, not because of me, but because of God this covenant will hold?

God is faithful and just because He cannot be anything else other than fully Himself.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Bible in 90 Days

Day One :
My children and I just read the book Life in the Great Ice Age and What Really Happened to the Dinosaurs...both written from creationist view points. It was really, really interesting to read those and then read Genesis. I am not really sure how to blog through this, but I am going to see what works. Last summer when I did this, I underlined the scriptures that jumped out at me, but I noticed that I came away with more questions than answers. So some posts will be full of questions and no answers and some will be filled with my opinion (which is completely fallible...I am not sure how many, if any people read this blog anyhow, but if you do read and you would like to offer your opinion/view point/understanding...please feel free to leave a comment)...with that said, here we go...

I love the creation story. I love hearing about how God created each and every animal, plant, man kind, the sun and stars...everything. Every single thing bears the mark of an amazingly talented and creative Creator.
As chapter four unfolds I am amazed at what God says to Cain after his offering was rejected. He asks questions of Cain and then tells Cain what he must do in order to choose the right way. Why did Cain not listen? How many times has God tried to do the same thing for me and I have rushed head long into sin and then fought its grasp upon my life and cried out "this is too much, the consequence too hard"? As the words continue to stream across the page and I read about each person/family that walked the earth I am always amazed when I reach this point in my reading :
Chapter 6 verse 9:
This is the account of Noah:
Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked with God.

How hard would that have been? To have been blameless among the men of your time, righteous and walking with God? Talk about walking against the tide and not fitting in.

Later on at the end of chapter 9 when Noah is speaking over his son's lives I am for the first time reminded how much a parent's words effect their children's lives - is it still that way? Do our words over their lives carry as much weight and importance as it did in ancient biblical time? More on this later in Genesis. I am going to let day one rest here and pick back up in Chapter 17 for day two.

Friday, June 1, 2012


Five Minute Friday - Gypsy Mama


The coolness of the morning is quickly wearing off as the sun streams through the tree lined streets. Mostly quiet except for the continual chatter that is occasionally punctuated with a belly tickling giggle we make our way through the streets on our morning walk. Walking with children is a whole new concept of going on a walk. You see things that you would not have noticed before, the chubby rolly poly making its way down the sidewalk, a small purple bloom nestled under some shrubs, and a squirrel scampering up a tree trunk. You hear things you would not have heard before, the rumble of a car coming far off, the sweet tweeting of a nest of baby birds over head, and the bounce of a ball a few driveways down.

Yesterday when we got home from our walk I sat in my chair and I thought about what had just happened. How much I would have missed and how much I continually learn from my children. I started asking myself - what happened when I grew up? Is it the taller I have gotten the less I see? The older I have become the poorer I listen? Why am I always in such a hurry? What exactly am I hurrying to or from? What is more important that this very moment that I would be willing to squander it by rushing through so fast that I do not take the time to see the beauty that He has tucked into every nook and cranny? Why does it seem so impossible to just slow down and yes stop to see that bloom or watch that chubby rolly poly or admire that intricately woven spider web? How many early summer mornings will I have the joy and privilege to do just that with my children? How do I expect them to cultivate a heart for beauty if I don't slow down long enough to do it myself?